Pornography wasn’t something Amelia Lander-Cavallo thought much about. Until, that is, they were asked to host a podcast on the subject. Lander-Cavallo had “kind of given up on porn for a variety of reasons” but as a blind, non-binary drag performer, cares deeply about the representation of disabled people’s sexuality, feeling they are often infantilised or dismissed.
“Generally speaking – and this is one of the main reasons I was excited to do this podcast – it’s very important to me that people understand that disabled people are sexual,” they explain over Zoom from the Sheffield home they share with their wife Al, who sits just out of shot. “Most people just don’t assume that disabled people have sex, think about sex, care about sex – and would consume porn, be interested and excited by porn. So it was great to talk to people who have made this their entire career.”
In Press Play, Turn On, a new six-part podcast from Audible, Lander-Cavallo dives into the world of audio pornography for queer and disabled people, from those who write the stuff to the sultry-voiced sex workers who record it from home. Think: spoken descriptive erotica with plenty of heavy panting and skin-on-skin slapping sounds. Most audio pornography is less “listening to people having sex”, and more story-driven narratives from people describing what they are “doing” to you, or vice versa. And, just as with visual pornography, there are variations (in episode two, Lander-Cavallo speaks to Chelsea, who makes audio pornography featuring dragons, monsters and angels).
During their adolescence in the early 2000s, in Albuquerque, New Mexico, Lander-Cavallo, 40, couldn’t find any mainstream pornography that suited them. In fact, often, the pornography they discovered was not only inaccessible but distressing (imagine searching for pornography for blind people and coming across a bunch of videos fetishising disabled people; it’s going to be a turn-off). “If I go into something trying to have a good time, and what I get is something ableist or transphobic, I’m going to be much less likely to engage. Unfortunately, that was my experience for a long time.”
That experience isn’t unusual, even by today’s standards when any type of pornography you could think of probably exists. Most people would think of mainstream pornography of the kind available on PornHub: garish videos of men and women moaning uncontrollably after zero foreplay, or glossy women reenacting unrealistic lesbian sex for a presumed male gaze. Which, as Lander-Cavallo says, obviously turns a lot of people on. “I don’t want to yuck on anyone’s yum,” is a phrase they use often. But it also means there are swathes of people who aren’t getting off in that way, because the pornography is for sighted people, or because it only caters to a certain subsection of society. And don’t assume that PornHub adding audio description to its most-watched clips solves the issue either. In the opening episode, Lander-Cavallo listens to a narrated clip of Kim Kardashian’s sex tape on PornHub, which clearly sounds flat, oddly technical and deeply unsexy (nobody wants to hear how the camera “scans the room”).
Throughout Press Play, Turn On, Lander-Cavallo interviews plenty of people in the audio pornography world, from disabled trans sex blogger Quinn Rhodes to disabled sex-toy company founder Andrew Gurza, as well as NSFW voice star Krystine Kellogg (who has the kind of syrupy voice that sounds custom-made for dirty stories). Many of these interviewees say the same thing: that they couldn’t find the pornography or sex toys or erotica they desired, so they carved out the space themselves (Rhodes describes himself as a “slut for words” and only being able to have an orgasm via audio pornography. Hence he became a sex blogger). Ultimately, amid all of this, Lander-Cavallo starts to wonder: if I want the perfect audio pornography, why don’t I just make it myself?
In a bonus seventh episode, Lander-Cavallo’s commissioned pornography finally arrives – written and recorded by queer content creator Verbalifyouplease – which you can listen to in full. It’s created specifically for a blind perspective: sexually descriptive, auditory, beautifully recorded. Even seemingly minor details, like a keyboard in the corner of the room, or the way the sunlight splashes from the window, get a mention. But be warned: this is not something you should listen to on public transport or out loud in the family home (a breathy voice slowly describes going down on “you” in front of your excited partner. This is pornographic so … don’t press play expecting a light erotic story).
You might assume that a lack of queer pornography, and a lack of pornography made for disabled people, are two entirely separate issues. In many ways, they are. But, Lander-Cavallo believes, they are also inextricably linked in the sense that mainstream media – including mainstream pornography – often fails to acknowledge non-normative sex lives or audiences (consider, for a moment, how often you have seen a wheelchair user portrayed having sex on television, or two trans people.) “Queerness and disability are not the same, but they are cousins in the sense that they have a lot of similarities that cross and connect,” Lander-Cavallo says. Plus, of course, like Lander-Cavallo, queer disabled people exist too. So it made sense to dive into audio pornography with an intersectional lens.
Throughout the podcast, Lander-Cavallo talks a lot about authenticity, and the need for it in pornography. For them, it’s integral that pornography performers are the identities they perform as. This is a debate that rages on far outside the confines of the pornography industry (we often hear about it in the context of film and pop music). Does it matter if queer pornography is performed by a queer person? Should lesbian sex only be portrayed by lesbians? My gut reaction at first is: no. In the realm of sexual fantasy, in which everything is heightened and make-believe, surely the most important thing is just being turned on? I don’t care about a person’s sex life if they are believable enough. The more I listen, however, the more I understand Lander-Cavallo’s way of thinking, which is that context is important, both in terms of practicality and ethics. This applies particularly with regard to disability, and how it is portrayed.
“I feel like you can tell if someone’s having a good time, so a lot of it is down to that,” they say. I tell them I agree – a lot of people don’t love fake-sounding sex moans. “But on a more political level, queer people, disabled people, trans people, don’t get enough representation already. So when you have a role that’s made with them in mind, and you still don’t put them in that role, it’s just mind-boggling. And I’m like, cool, when I get to play a role where I’m an airline pilot and nobody bats an eyelid, then we can talk about pretending to be blind. But until that happens … well.”
Press Play, Turn On covers a lot of serious issues, but don’t be fooled into thinking this is an over-earnest podcast. It’s educational for those who aren’t blind, sure, but there’s a lot of laughter, and casual back-and-forths throughout (at one point a blooper is played in which a voice actor has to stop mid-pornographic script because their kids are stomping around upstairs).
Lander-Cavallo hopes Press Play, Turn On can shed light on an industry that has been growing exponentially since the pandemic (the audio pornography app Dipsea saw an 84% increase in subscribers in 2020). “There is definitely a growing need and desire for audio porn,” they say. “So that allows an industry to innovate in ways that make porn a better, nicer experience for everybody, and for people to listen to.” In other words, as demand grows, so too should accessibility.
“My hope is that [audio pornography] continues to be made in a way that treats the sex workers ethically and safely, as enjoyably as possible, and that they are celebrated for that work. And that accessibility is something that is continually thought about.” After all, the more open the world, the fairer it will be – and that applies to pornography too.
• Press Play, Turn On is on Audible now
