Teresa, 75, Hailsham, East Sussex
Occupation Retired
Voting record Usually Lib Dem. Doesn’t vote Labour because she has always lived in an area where the contest is between the Conservatives and the Lib Dems
Amuse bouche At 19, she bought an old taxi for £15. On the way home, the guy in the petrol station asked how much she had paid. He said: “That’s a good buy – goodbye to 15 quid”
Lyn, 68, London
Occupation Retired social worker
Voting record Usually Labour. The odd Green and Lib Dem vote, but never Tory
Amuse bouche Had an infestation of giant flying ants in her kitchen, and the massacre was hideous to watch
For starters
Lyn I had the fresh pasta with asparagus and mascarpone. Then we had a tube with ricotta in it, with orange and dark chocolate flavouring.
Teresa I had sea bass fillets with what they called small prawns, though they looked like shrimps to me, with a butter and lemon sauce. Delicious, it was.
Lyn I’d been told that she was trans. My first impression was: I would never have known. I actually questioned it. She was completely feminine. It’s awful that we make these judgments.
Teresa We got on well. She was very welcoming, a very pleasant individual.
The big beef
Teresa She indicated that she was concerned about the proposed changes to the gender recognition act in Scotland, but not the usual concerns. She said she was worried about 16- to 25-year-olds not having the maturity to make life-changing decisions. I thought it was illogical because we already have arbitrary age limits for all kinds of important decisions.
Lyn I’d read up on the Scottish bill before it was blocked by the UK government, and seen that from 16 people would be allowed to live as the gender they wanted to be, and after six months they could get a birth certificate – they would be recognised as that gender. There weren’t any safeguards, protection for vulnerable people.
Teresa She was coming at it from a protection side. I said there was another side: children whose parents aren’t supportive, who do have gender dysphoria. One of the problems with gender recognition applications is that you still need a diagnosis, from a psychiatrist, of a condition that is no longer recognised as a psychiatric condition. So the whole thing is nonsense. The only person who can diagnose whether a person has gender dysphoria is the person themselves.
Lyn Self-certification at 16 is too young. I think Teresa agreed with me, though I’ve got to say my hearing is not great and her voice was quite soft.
Sharing plate
Teresa We had a long conversation about bereavement, because I’d lost my partner a few years ago. And the same thing had happened with her husband. She was obviously in agreement that the NHS isn’t adequately funded.
Lyn We had very different experiences. My husband was a very fit man, he worked in the construction industry, he’d never been ill, he was robust, a big man, a strong person – he’d pick up a washing machine. He died very suddenly. I found him in the garden. It was an awful, awful shock. He was 72. Why I didn’t think he’d ever die, I don’t know, but it never crossed my mind.
Teresa My late partner had lung cancer, but they never did find out what the primary site had been because it developed so quickly. She went downhill so fast. I nursed her at home as long as I could. Lyn was obviously very sympathetic about that.
Lyn She was absolutely lovely. A very empathic, kind, nice person.
For afters
Teresa I voted remain and I’m still a remainer. Or a rejoiner. She said she had been a Brexiter, but had since changed her mind. So I thought: that’s kind of killed that conversation.
Lyn I voted Brexit, and my daughter is always on my case, going: “Mum, how could you?” And both my sons: “Oh, Mother.” And I just say: “I’m entitled to my own opinion.” But my opinion has changed. I think there have been consequences all over the place. I’m staggered by this current government.
Takeaways
Teresa It was a very enjoyable experience. She texted afterwards, and I texted her back, saying I was a bit concerned that we hadn’t covered enough ground. She said: “We could just claim Alzheimer’s.”
Lyn That was one lovely lunch we had. And it was a beautiful restaurant. In the middle of Crawley, of all places!
Additional reporting: Kitty Drake.
• Lyn and Teresa ate at Da Nico in Crawley
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