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Wales Online
Wales Online
Emma Dunn & Ria Tesia

'Different' parents always say 'yes' to what daughters want

Meet the parents who almost always say yes to their daughters - believing they should be allowed to "express" themselves however they want. Amanda and Paul Conway, both 47, say they have always been "different".

So when daughter Hannah, 11, was struggling to "fit in" at school, they decided to try another approach and pulled her out. They say they have been letting her "take charge" at home ever since which has resulted in her being happier than ever.

Hannah is allowed to do whatever she wants as long as she completes chores, as both parents agree nothing in life comes for free. Her sister Beth, 10, is also allowed the same freedoms, although she isn't quite as wild.

Amanda, a finance manager from East Preston near Littlehampton, East Sussex, said: "Hannah doesn’t just get what she wants. She has to do her chores and home ed[ucation] to show that she doesn’t just get things for free in life.

“But now she’s excelling, she left school broken and now it’s let her bloom into something wonderful. She’s expressing herself."

Amanda and Paul, an account manager, say they let both daughters do what makes them happy, within reason. For example, Hannah was allowed to get her ears pierced aged seven.

She has recently been allowed to cut off her long blonde her and dye the rest purple. Amanda said: “She’s always been different so we thought lets do things differently for her. She didn’t fit in at school so we decided to pull her out. She immediately asked to cut her hair off and dye it purple.

“It was a bit difficult for me when she asked to cut off her gorgeous hair but it’s her choice." Since dyeing her hair purple, Hannah bleached it back to a blonde colour but has now decided she wants it to be blue.

Amanda says she is happy for Hannah to change her appearance, but only if she does her chores and works extra hard. She said: “There’s been a massive change in Hannah [since she left school]. She was silent and hardly spoke. She was always happy but said she would fake it.

"Now she is confident. She doesn’t dress like an 11-year-old. She likes cosplay and always sees the quirky clothes in Brighton. She’s not stifled at school anymore.

"We said to her, ‘You’re in charge.’ Now she’s just excelling. She was so unhappy and I realised what I was doing wasn't working. I asked her what she wanted and she said she wanted to be at home."

Amanda and Paul now approach their parenting as "child led" and let Hannah and Beth learn in the style that works for them. "Hannah is now doing her learning through audio and that works for her," Amanda said.

"Children are put into boxes and told what to do. I believe as soon as a child can think for themselves they should be able to do it. If she can prove why she wants to do something I'll back her. We have a very different approach to parenting.

"I get a lot of comments for people saying 'why am I harming my child' or 'she won't learn anything at home.' We even had an older lady say 'why are your kids not at school' when she saw us in the village.

"Beth turned around and said 'we are learning, we are home-educated.' Hannah's gone up a whole school year since learning at home. She's allowed to be free and explore things herself. I don't like conforming to what society says we should do."

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