There is spine-tingling supernatural news from The Crown, a TV show that takes itself considerably more seriously than the actual royal family. This has never been a programme that wears the “prestige TV” label as lightly as have other jewels of the era, preferring instead to drag it like a 10-ton weight into every scene while some of the finest actors of their generations pretend to be things like “sad about the news”, or “Princess Anne”.
Giggling away with a drink and a packet of crisps, I often wonder if I am its only disloyal subject. Surely not? For a long time I couldn’t really believe anyone took it seriously, and assumed it must be in on the joke of itself – a Nicolas Cage of a show, if you will.
I can’t quite decide whether this position has been bolstered or undermined by the high-camp news that the forthcoming final series is to feature the ghost of Princess Diana. According to reports – and it’s not out yet, so usual caveats – the ghost appears to both Prince Charles and the late Queen.
The Queen sees her while planning the funeral arrangements and starts crying, having been told she “taught us what it means to be British”. To Charles, who has apparently been shown sobbing over her body in a Paris morgue, Diana’s ghost reportedly says: “Thank you for how you were in the hospital. So raw, broken – and handsome.” Oooh. “I’ll take that with me. You know I loved you so much. So deeply, so painfully too. That’s over now. It will be easier for everyone with me gone.” Can this genuinely be the dialogue? I certainly hope so.
Having said all that, I have kept a close eye on the appearances of Princess Di’s ghost since her death. I’m not her talent agent or anything – indeed, the post-death CV I am about to showcase might cause you to wonder if she even has reputable theatrical representation in the afterlife – but once you start, patterns do begin to suggest themselves.
One of the most regular jobs Diana’s ghost takes, for example, is appearing to actors who are going to play her, to communicate how completely OK she is with their decision. And, dare they hint, kind of honoured. Kristen Stewart, who was Diana in the 2021 film Spencer, “felt some spooky, spiritual feelings making this movie … I felt there were moments where I kind of got the sign-off.” It was the same for Naomi Watts, who gave us her Diana in an eponymous 2013 film. “There were definitely moments when I felt Diana’s presence,” explained Watts. “I found myself constantly asking for her permission to carry on … There was one particular moment when I felt her permission was granted.” Mm.
Elsewhere, Diana’s ghost has eye for an occasion. Before this Crown booking, she most recently appeared to – or rather was heard by – some viewers of the ITV broadcast of the Queen’s funeral. As the hearse headed out of London towards Windsor, a woman’s voice could be heard saying “the death is irreversible – the fact that’s she’s trapped …” before a male commentator cut hastily in. Really a very competitive booking from ITV there, who do suffer with people reflexively watching the big events on the BBC.
Speaking of big events, Diana’s former psychic and “energy healer”, Simone Simmons, is still able to hear her ghost – even over the sound of cash registers. “I know a lot of people aren’t going to like it,” hazarded Simmons in 2017, “but she said we’ve got to vote for Brexit. Britain was great, economically and production-wise and before we joined the EU. She was interested in the referendum, and suggested I vote to leave because Britain was really great before the EU.” Righto.
During Covid, Diana’s ghost seems to have fallen in with an Australian anti-masker – but she had long expected to keep living (or afterliving) through turbulent times. In 2018, a Japanese spiritual leader announced she’d been in touch to reveal that “England will experience another revolution”. Also: “I prefer Islam.”
Then again she’s a great lover of pubs, frequenting the England’s Rose in Oxfordshire (formerly the Feathers) , and several others, even if her chat tends toward the predictable. Like many with their … gift, is it? … psychics frequently reveal she has told them Kate is perfect, but that she can’t be doing with Meghan.
Not that Her Royal Spectralness is always welcome. A parson was reportedly called to Sandringham in 2001 after the servants refused to work in one chamber. “The parson said,” wrote long-time Mail royal correspondent Kenneth Rose in Volume II of his diaries (1979-2014), “that the oppressive or disturbing atmosphere may have been because of Princess Diana.”
A poor show – but it must be said that workwise, the 00s for Diana’s ghost had the humiliating flavour of John Travolta’s 80s; 2003 found her appearing in a US pay-per-view seance. The DVD of this televisual horror show is emblazoned with the words “BANNED IN GREAT BRITAIN”, which would sadly have limited the presumably much-needed royalties available to its naturalised American presenter, former Avengers star Patrick Macnee. Macnee certainly looks to be thinking of the paycheck as he watches psychics compete to get the best content from other-side Di.
For someone who in life could pick up the phone to the likes of Elton John or Liza Minnelli for a sensational gossip, it must feel a bit of a comedown having to spend eternity with only ghastly old chancers like these to natter to. Diana supposedly appears to one medium couple at the seance who say she’s “met Mother Teresa”. (Funny way to put it, given she and Mother T met several times in life, but perhaps they’d shared a drink from the River Lethe. Or Mother Teresa was just being standoffish about the fact Diana’s death, five days before her own, ended up completely overshadowing it.)
That seance came before the era of prestige TV, of course, meaning it was not inherently classy. Strange now to think back to that benighted time, when actual culture secretaries somehow thought they had better things to do than to write to Netflix. “I fear a generation of viewers who did not live through these events may mistake fiction for fact,” feared Oliver Dowden about the previous series of The Crown. For my part, I fear he is now deputy prime minister. It would be wonderful to know Diana’s view on both that incidental detail and her upcoming appearance in The Crown – and, since she’s the afterlife’s greatest showbiz trouper, it surely won’t be long before we find out.
Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist
