An Edinburgh mum is raising money for a cause and charity near and dear to her heart after unexpectedly losing her 20 week old son earlier this year.
Libby and her husband will be walking up Arthur’s Seat on Saturday alongside more than 400 others in honour of pregnancy and baby loss. The funds raised will go towards helping other families like her own.
“My story is a little peculiar,” Libby, 34, said. “I didn’t even know I was pregnant when I went into labour.” However, the unexpectedness of her son’s arrival did not dull the ache of his loss.
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“I don’t think I’ll ever have closure, but I am so happy he was here. If he were still here, he’d almost be due now. One of the many things we’d have done together is walk up Arthur’s Seat. It was my first date with his dad, and it’s something we’d have done as a family. It’s one more memory we can dedicate to him,” Libby said.
Libby was previously told she would never conceive a baby, and she had no reason to expect she was pregnant in August.
“I had absolutely no side effects. I always thought that you would just know when you’re pregnant, but I had no idea,” she said.
As Libby was rushed to the emergency room in August the week after her wedding, she finally had a sinking suspicion that she was going into labour.
“I physically and mentally could not articulate the thought. I was in shock. I couldn’t even articulate what I was experiencing to my husband,” Libby recalled.
By the time she arrived at the hospital, Libby said her 20-week-old baby had nearly arrived. Unfortunately, her beloved Henry was born sleeping, and she was taken to an operating theatre for nearly five hours.
“While I was in the operating theatre, the only support my husband had was from the Sands trained nurses. Healthy babies were being born all around him, and the Sands nurses were the only comfort he had,” she said.
Libby and her family were given as much time with little Henry as they needed. He was given the opportunity to be held by his parents, grandparents and all those who loved him so.
Libby said the support from the Sands charity didn’t end in the waiting room. One of her most precious possessions is now a memory box she was given from Sands.
“That box wasn’t worth more than £20, but it meant absolutely everything. It’s something Henry and I shared, and it’s something I can remember him by. It was the only thing I have of his,” Libby recalled through tears.
The box had a white handknit hat and clothing, a teddy bear, and a book which Libby read nearly every hour that she was with him.
After she went home, Libby started to look for support. Although she found comfort from family and friends, the NHS didn’t offer anything other than counselling with a 6 month waiting list.
“Did you know one in four women are affected by pregnancy loss? A baby dies every 90 minutes in the UK and no one is talking about it,” Libby said.
“It’s terrible. The amount of women who reached out to me after my experience to say they had also lost a baby was astounding.”
“I don’t understand why we’re not talking about this. Nothing is more painful. I’m never going to meet Henry, or hear his laugh or cry. I am a strong woman, I am a professional. I never used to cry, but I cry all the time now. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever experienced.”
Libby will be participating in the Starlight Memorial Walk with her husband, her brother-in-law and her best friend on Saturday to remember her beloved baby, Henry.
“Starlight Walk event is returning to Holyrood Park, Edinburgh, where hundreds of people affected by pregnancy or baby loss will be walking together carrying lanterns in memory of much loved babies,” Nicola, Senior Community Engagement and Events Officer at Sands
“Starlight Walk follows a 6km route through the beautiful Holyrood Park and is an opportunity for anyone affected by pregnancy or baby loss, however long-ago, to remember their much-loved babies by walking alongside other bereaved parents and families.”
Sands works in partnership with health care professionals, and provides training and bereavement care resources alongside care and support for grieving families.
“We are determined to save every life we can, and we will make sure the right care and support is there for every bereaved family, whenever and wherever they need it,” Jen, Director of Bereavement Support at Sands
Spaces are still available for the memorial walk. Pre-registration is suggested.
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