A couple who struggled to conceive for years are desperate for another round of IVF after their daughter's heart stopped beating when mum Nicola was 34 weeks pregnant.
Darren Evans and Nicola Scarpato have been trying to start a family for more than 10 years and were filled with joy when they finally got pregnant with their daughter, Jorgie-May through IVF. Sadly, in September 2021 when Nicola was 34 weeks pregnant they were given the devastating news that their baby, who Darren had nicknamed "Pebble", had no heartbeat.
The couple, from Newport, met as teenagers and as they approached their late 20s they decided it was time to start trying for a baby. After things failed to happen naturally for them, they were referred for NHS fertility treatment in 2017 and began their first cycle of treatment in late 2018. They are currently fundraising for another round of treatment, and you can make a donation here.
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While they were going through the process, Nicola attended a scan to check the progress of the hormones she had been taking when a huge mass was discovered in her uterus. The IVF cycle had to be cancelled while she awaited further gynaecology results and after 11 months of tests, Nicola underwent a laparoscopic surgery to remove the mass which was a 10cm cyst on her ovary and she was diagnosed with endometriosis.
By early 2020 they were able to start another cycle of IVF but were once again handed a massive blow when the coronavirus pandemic took hold of the country. Nicola was booked in for an embryo transfer on Monday, March 23, the day the UK went into lockdown. The service had to be postponed, and the embryo was frozen instead.
The procedure was rescheduled for September 2020, so Nicola started the medication three weeks prior to her appointment. When they got to the clinic that day, they were told the embryo had failed the thawing process. She said: "We were absolutely devastated after so much waiting we could not believe the 5% chance of this happening actually happened to us."
The couple began their second round of treatment in January 2021 and were thrilled when they had a positive pregnancy test at the end of February 2021. She said: "After years of trying to conceive, tests, so much treatment, waiting, the pandemic, the lockdowns, the worry, the heartache etc, we finally had a positive pregnancy test, our first ever pregnancy. We were over the moon.
"We cherished every day of the pregnancy, Darren had a nickname 'Pebble', because the photo of the embryo looked just like that, our perfect pebble. We had a straightforward, happy and healthy pregnancy - we chatted, we sang to our baby, we had nerves, we had hope, and we had already fallen in love with our daughter, imagining our life together as three, after wanting to be parents for so long it was finally happening, we were the happiest we had ever been."
Then they experienced every expectant parent's worse nightmare. Reflecting on what happened, Nicola said she woke up that morning and was concerned about Jorgie-May's movements and described her bump feeling hard as if it had dropped. She and Darren made their way to the Grange University Hospital which is where they were given the devastating news.
Nicola said: "I was in triage alone and Darren was in the waiting area, because it was coronavirus conditions he wasn't allowed in. They did a scan and I could see the concern on their faces. They called the doctor in then and they said 'I am sorry there is no heart beat'. I just kept saying I don't understand. I was just in shock. They called Darren into another room with me then and I had to tell him. It was awful but all the staff were amazing."
Nicola had suffered a complete placenta abruption brought on by severe onset pre-eclampsia. She said: "There was no warning signs until it was too late. We were in shock, devastated, numb, how can this even happen to our precious baby girl, not us, not after all we had been through to get pregnant with it being one in 100 pregnancies this can happen to so 1% and it happened to us."
Jorgie-May was born via C-section on September 18, 2021 and weighed 3lb 15oz. Nicola experienced a traumatic delivery and required multiple blood transfusions and almost lost her life. Nicola added: "We cherished the days spent with Jorgie-May in the hospital, we made memories, we read her first story, we changed her, and cuddled and kissed her soft skin, she was perfect. We were parents but not how we ever imagined it to be, no parent should ever have to bury their child. Our love for Jorgie-May lives on and we will keep her memory alive.
"It has been physically, mentally and emotionally all-consuming as we struggle and will continue to battle on with loss, grief and further fertility treatment in the hope of having our rainbow baby. Although another child can never replace our daughter, the thought of having another child gives us something to carry on for, it gives us a chance to hope to raise a child of our own."
In June 2022 the couple had another embryo transfer which did not succeed, and that was the last of their funding on the NHS. They self-funded another round and went through another embryo transfer in January, which didn't work.
Nicola added: "I convinced myself that I was pregnant again, the cruelty that is the side effects of all the hormone medication along with my mind playing tricks on me and the pure desperation for this to work, after the two weeks' wait, three negative pregnancy tests bought us back down to reality."
The couple are fundraising to pay for further IVF treatment as they will only be able to succeed with medical intervention. They are hopeful they will get pregnant again with more help. If you would like to support them, you can make a donation here.
They wanted to share their story in the hopes of raising awareness of infertility and baby loss. Nicola said: "It makes you feel less alone knowing others are going through that as well. And for men as well, people don't appreciate that the dad feels the impact of baby loss just as much as the mum."
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