Three brothers from Northern Ireland are set to take icy-cold waters this Christmas in memory of their late mum.
For the Boyle family, Christmas will always be a heartbreaking time after the death of their beloved mother Nina Boyle in 2018 at the age of 59 at the Foyle Hospice.
The Derry woman left behind her husband Thomas and their seven children, Karen, Thomas, Maria, Stephen, Dean, Matthew and Ryan.
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However, the family have always maintained that their mother died “peacefully and with dignity”, being cared for by the compassionate and dedicated team at Foyle Hospice and described their last Christmas together there as “beautiful”.
And Nina had been a keen supporter of the Derry-based hospice and participated in numerous fundraising events with her daughters and sisters until she became terminally ill.
The family now wish to continue fundraising in her honour, so that other families facing similar situations can receive the same specialist support.
This Christmas Day, as a fitting tribute to their mother on her anniversary and to raise much-needed funds for Foyle Hospice, Dean, 26, Matthew, 24 and Ryan, 21 will take the plunge in the icy-cold waters of Lough Swilly.
The boys will join dozens of other fundraisers for the annual Christmas Day Swim at 11am on Ludden Beach, Buncrana, Co Donegal.
Thomas, Nina’s husband, said: “We lost the most important person in our lives that Christmas; a light went out in our home and part of us went with her but, all I can tell you is that, if it hadn’t been for the Foyle Hospice, we wouldn’t have the strength to be sitting here telling our story now.”
Thomas said that he noticed, towards the end of 2017, that “something wasn’t quite right” with Nina.
“She was always quite funny and she got involved everything; if I was taking a door off its hinges, she was in there lifting it and helping me out, but it got to the stage where she couldn’t do it,” he said.
“I would joke when I was working at something and say, “Where’s my apprentice today?” and she would say, “Sorry, Thomas, I can’t do it.”
Thomas scaled back work commitments to spend more time at home and began noticing further changes in Nina. “Nina stopped speaking to me, I wondered what was wrong - it was all picture, no sound and I thought, “What did I do?”
“She was acting normally otherwise, doing the things she usually did, but about a week into this she still wasn’t talking. Then one day she called me upstairs and she started to cry.
"I asked her what was wrong but when she tried to tell me, her speech came out very slurred. I actually got annoyed and said, ‘If you had a stroke, you should have told me, it’s been a week’.”
Nina's husband immediately called 999 and Nina was brought to Altnagelvin Hospital. A doctor determined there was a neurological problem that would need specialist treatment in Belfast.
“When she went to Belfast, they found out what was wrong with her and that’s when we were told she had Motor Neuron Disease,” said Thomas.
“When they were doing tests on her, they asked her if she had any idea what was wrong with her and she nodded her head. They asked her what she thought it was and she said Motor Neuron Disease (MND)…then they told her she was right."
As the Derry mum's illness progressed, the family accepted that she needed specialist care that could no longer be provided at home.
“Nina wanted to die at home with dignity, with her family around her but she took really sick and went into the hospice," Thomas added.
“Nina had the best care and the best experience in the Foyle Hospice, they did everything they could do for her.”
Agreeing with his father, Dean said: “I did have this misconception when I heard my mum was going in there; I just thought, ‘This is the end of the road’ – but once you’re actually in there, it’s such an easy transition.
"You’re expecting doom and gloom but everyone from the nurses to the receptionist has a smile and are so welcoming.
“My mum was a lady of class and dignity and I was so impressed with the hospice because they allowed her to maintain that. You’re not treated as a patient, you’re a person and there is a personal connection – they made her feel at home.”
Almost a month to the day before Nina died, she and Thomas celebrated 41 years of marriage. The family said that the Hospice staff helped make that day a memory to treasure.
Dean continued: “My mammy and daddy’s anniversary is on the 24th November, it was just a month before she died, but we were able to have a celebration as a family at the hospice where they organised a projector that showed flashbacks throughout their life and we could play music.
"It was amazing for us to look back through their lives and all those memories.
“My Mum died on Christmas Day but we spent six months with her at the hospice; three months going to Day Care then three months as a resident patient,” he said.
“Obviously it’s difficult, especially at this time of year, but I remember when she was in the Hospice, there was a carol service singing, there were decorations up and, on Christmas Day itself, the staff gave us the option to have Christmas dinner in the room with our mum - what a gesture.
“We were able to spend our last Christmas together. The Hospice went above and beyond. It was beautiful. The fact that we could sit and have our dinner and open our presents with her there, we didn’t want to go home…it was like we were already home because we were with our mum.”
You can support the boys’ Christmas Day Swim in memory of their mum HERE.
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