Cometh the hour, cometh the man. In the end it had come down to a two-horse race between Nadine Dorries and Grant Shapps to take on the morning media round as they had been the only members of the Tory Wankocracy stupid enough to answer their phones. Even James Cleverly, aka Jimmy Dimly, had remembered to switch his mobile to silent.
And while there was little to choose between Nadine’s and Grant’s abject, needy loyalty to Boris Johnson, No 10 thought that on balance Shapps was the better bet. Nadine was just too much of a liability and could lash out – she might even embarrass herself by threatening to cut ITV’s public funding – while Grant was just perfect. In his Michael Green get-rich-quick persona, he had just the qualities required. No one could talk shit quite so shamelessly. And with such utter contempt for his audience.
