Stop the presses! The apparently alive-after-all Donald Trump spotted a problem, figured out a solution, and executed a plan successfully! Unfortunately for the nation, it’s not reducing inflation, boosting the economy, or stopping a war. It’s… figuring out who scratched his new patio.
Trump took to Truth Social to boast about his Holmesian deductive skills to the world. The saga begins with his controversial paving over of Jacqueline Kennedy’s Rose Garden, tearing out the lawn and flowers to create a large, dull, flat paved area. As he said:
