Dame Deborah James's mum has revealed her daughter told her she didn't want to die in a late-night chat shortly before the end of her cancer fight. The broadcaster and campaigner inspired a nation with her openness about terminal bowel cancer - which claimed her life earlier this year.
Her story has raised awareness - and millions of pounds - and saw Deborah named a Dame shortly before her death.
Heather James told BBC Breakfast : "The hardest thing was knowing that she was going to die and, as a mother, knowing I couldn't do anything about it. She did say 'I don't want to die'. And that's the hardest, saddest part."
In the first interview since her daughter’s death, her mother Heather James, whose Instagram handle is Bowelgran, spoke about Dame Deborah’s last few weeks and the outpouring of love and support the family received.
Deborah James was just 40 when she died. Her mum became her main carer for her final weeks.
Dame Deborah was diagnosed with bowel cancer in 2016 and detailed her journey in the BBC podcast You, Me and the Big C. Dame Deborah's Bowelbabe fund has now raised more than £7m.
In her final months, the presenter of the BBC podcast You, Me And The Big C raised almost £7 million for cancer research, with the amount climbing further following her death.
She also launched a clothing range with In The Style and completed her second book, titled How To Live When You Could Be Dead, which is being published on August 18.
Ms James told BBC Breakfast: “I still find that amazing, that she had the love of the people out there and that meant a lot, it’s meant a lot to the family and it still does.”
Asked if it had been a help, she added: “Yes. I think I could not have coped… we were given three to five days, Deborah lived eight weeks.
Heather said the last eight weeks of Dame Deborah's life were probably the "best eight weeks" the family shared together.
"Even though she died at the end of it, how can you not love what she did in that eight weeks?" Damer Deborah spent part of the time finishing her second book, How To Live When You Could Be Dead.
"That must have been the toughest to write for her, because she knew she only had days left," Heather said. "She could still have the beautiful ability to write right up to the end."
In early May, Dame Deborah revealed she had stopped active treatment and was receiving end-of-life care at her parents’ home in Woking, Surrey, with her husband and their two children on hand.
In Dame Deborah’s final days at her parents’ house, Ms James was her main carer.
She said: “I think the hardest thing was knowing she was going to die. My heartache was knowing as a mother I couldn’t do anything about that and I think that was the hardest for me to cope with…
“We had some good times. I can remember lying in bed, probably just about a week or so before she died and she was quite poorly that night and she went, ‘I do love you’ and I went, ‘I love you’.
“She went ‘I have no regrets’ and I went ‘That’s brilliant’, how many people could say that? But she did say I don’t want to die. And that’s the hardest, saddest part.”
Dame Deborah was honoured with a damehood for her “tireless campaigning” to raise awareness of bowel cancer, with the honour personally conferred by the Duke of Cambridge in May during a surprise visit to her parents’ house.
Ms James said of William: “He put us so much at ease when he came in. You know, it was amazing. And he was just like one of my son-in-laws, he just sat down with us. He was so lovely, I think he is a people’s king.”
Genevieve Edwards, chief executive of Bowel Cancer UK, told BBC Breakfast: “From the moment Deborah was diagnosed and right until the end of her life, she campaigned tirelessly.
“She was a phenomenal campaigner, and you can just see the impact that she’s had there with people coming forward.
“And if those thousands of people who’ve come forward, the majority of them probably won’t have bowel cancer, but for those that do, that’s lifesaving.
“I’ve spoken to so many people with bowel cancer who’ve felt that they’ve had the confidence to go and tell their own story now because Deborah did so.
“You know, she communicated so well and connected and they felt that they’ve been able to go.
“So it’s all of those little conversations, like ripples in a pond, that will keep going, and that’s really important because bowel cancer is not an easy one to talk about.”
