Wobbling just a little as his mother’s coffin was lifted on to his shoulder, 14-year-old Hugo Poland Bowen began the slow, painful walk into church, demonstrating the same fierce courage Dame Deborah James had shown during years of illness with bowel cancer.
That walk into church, the weight of his mother’s wicker coffin bearing down on his shoulder, will have been the longest, most surreal of Hugo’s life.
But Hugo, his sister Eloise, 12, and their father Sebastien bravely carried out Dame Deborah’s final wishes and under dazzling sunshine that reflected the most vibrant of women.
Deborah was the “Bowel Babe” campaigner, author and podcaster who raised more than £7million for cancer research following her own cancer diagnosis in 2016, aged just 35.
Dressed in black according to her wishes, the family had arrived walking behind the vintage Rolls-Royce hearse carrying her coffin, the peal of church bells the only sound on the suburban streets as people fell silent in respect while they passed.
They inched along the road, dry eyes fixed – no tears allowed to fall, not publicly at least. Hugo then joined the pallbearers, his father behind him, holding his corner of the casket, as they began the march into St Mary’s church in Barnes, South West London, where the family live, for a private service.
Deborah died, aged 40, on June 28, a day her family had steeled themselves for since the former deputy headteacher’s shocking diagnosis of bowel cancer – already at stage four – in 2016.
Lorraine Kelly, Gaby Roslin, Sophie Raworth and McFly star Tom Fletcher and his wife Giovanna, all friends with Deborah through her campaign work, were among the mourners at the private service yesterday.
But outside, the people of Barnes paid their respects.
Claire Ferguson, 46, said: “I didn’t know her, but as a Barnes resident we took her to our hearts. She did amazing things and raised such an incredible amount of money.
“She was full of character, you couldn’t help but want to follow and support her. She’s made me more aware, she wasn’t much younger than me. I’m now more cautious than I would have been.
“That’s what she wanted.”
Judie Wraith, 55, from nearby Putney, said: “It’s such a sad story, but she made it such an inspiring story. The awareness for all cancers she has raised, and the way she lived her life, was so wonderful.”
Friends of Deborah’s brother gathered to offer support. Patrick Aylwin, 32, said: “She was larger than life, she never stopped, it never abated even when she was ill. I think she would feel humbled by this, but it would mean a lot to her.”
Inside the church, where the service was conducted by the Rev David Cooke, Deborah’s children read poems, Hugo’s written by himself, and Sebastien, her husband of 13 years, gave the eulogy.
Other poems and readings were accompanied by cellist Charles Watt, who played music from Gabriel Faure.
Jazz singer Nathalie Rushdie, a family friend who is married to novelist Salman Rushdie’s son Zafar, sang Tell Me It’s Not True from Blood Brothers.
The words reflected Deborah’s reluctant acceptance that her cancer could no longer be treated when she was told in May. By then, she had already had 17 tumours removed and scores of chemotherapy cycles.
After her initial diagnosis in 2016, she had overcome initial depression to raise awareness of bowel cancer symptoms.
She amassed almost a million Instagram followers and was irreverent and candid in the face of fear, posting videos of herself dancing through chemotherapy.
She co-presented the BBC podcast You, Me, And The Big C and even in the weeks before her death, would not allow herself to let go. She raised £3million within 48 hours of revealing she had ended treatment, and received a damehood, presented by Prince William in her parents’ garden.
She once said: “You have got to have some fun. I’m not trying to make cancer look fun, it’s not, but you have to do what you can to get through.”
Deborah admitted that what she feared the most was being alone. She wanted to die at her parents’ bungalow in Woking surrounded by the buzz of her family, and did so. She even planned for a bench to be erected in her memory opposite her Barnes home.
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And she suggested she would quite like her ashes to remain at home, because she hoped she would never feel lonely that way. She said: “I’m the kind of person that wouldn’t mind staying in the top drawer in the kitchen for a while.” Well yesterday, she was far from alone – wrapped in love of the stream of mourners.
When her coffin emerged from the church, they huddled in the gateway as the hearse took her away, white roses, a variety named after Deborah and displayed at this year’s Chelsea Flower Show, on top of her coffin.
They watched until the hearse disappeared out of view. Eloise – in a glamorous black dress, low heels and velvet headband which would have delighted her fashionable mum – resolutely mouthed “Yes”, when her grandmother asked if she was okay.
Then, still no tears shed, Sebastien held out his arm for his children to follow, and they began a procession in the opposite direction, towards a private wake.
There, no doubt, the stoicism will have softened – and this would have been the part Deborah loved best.
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