Deborah James' children showed the same courage as their mum during the brave campaigner's funeral. The 40 year old podcaster died at the age of 40 on June 28 following a five year battle with bowel cancer.
Her 14 year old son Hugo Poland Bowen showed strength as he carried his mother's coffin into church. Along with his sister Eloise,12, they carried out Dame Deborah's final wishes.
The Mirror reports that Deborah raised more than £7 million for cancer research following her diagnosis in 2016. Her children and husband Sebastien dressed in black at her funeral according to her wish.
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The family had arrived walking behind the vintage Rolls-Royce hearse carrying her coffin, the peal of church bells the only sound on the suburban streets as people fell silent in respect while they passed. Hugo then joined the pallbearers, his father behind him, holding his corner of the casket, as they began the march into St Mary’s church in Barnes, South West London, where the family live, for a private service.
Deborah died, aged 40, on June 28, a day her family had steeled themselves for since the former deputy headteacher’s shocking diagnosis of bowel cancer – already at stage four – in 2016. Lorraine Kelly, Gaby Roslin, Sophie Raworth and McFly star Tom Fletcher and his wife Giovanna, all friends with Deborah through her campaign work, were among the mourners at the private service yesterday.
But outside, the people of Barnes paid their respects. Claire Ferguson, 46, said: “I didn’t know her, but as a Barnes resident we took her to our hearts. She did amazing things and raised such an incredible amount of money.
“She was full of character, you couldn’t help but want to follow and support her. She’s made me more aware, she wasn’t much younger than me. I’m now more cautious than I would have been. That’s what she wanted.”
Judie Wraith, 55, from nearby Putney, said: “It’s such a sad story, but she made it such an inspiring story. The awareness for all cancers she has raised, and the way she lived her life, was so wonderful.”
Friends of Deborah’s brother gathered to offer support. Patrick Aylwin, 32, said: “She was larger than life, she never stopped, it never abated even when she was ill. I think she would feel humbled by this, but it would mean a lot to her.”
Inside the church, where the service was conducted by the Rev David Cooke, Deborah’s children read poems, Hugo’s written by himself, and Sebastien, her husband of 13 years, gave the eulogy. Other poems and readings were accompanied by cellist Charles Watt, who played music from Gabriel Faure.
Jazz singer Nathalie Rushdie, a family friend who is married to novelist Salman Rushdie’s son Zafar, sang Tell Me It’s Not True from Blood Brothers. The words reflected Deborah’s reluctant acceptance that her cancer could no longer be treated when she was told in May. By then, she had already had 17 tumours removed and scores of chemotherapy cycles.
After her diagnosis in 2016, she had overcome initial depression to raise awareness of bowel cancer symptoms. She amassed almost a million Instagram followers and was irreverent and candid in the face of fear, posting videos of herself dancing through chemotherapy.
She co-presented the BBC podcast You, Me, And The Big C and even in the weeks before her death, would not allow herself to let go. She raised £3million within 48 hours of revealing she had ended treatment, and received a damehood, presented by Prince William in her parents’ garden.
She once said: “You have got to have some fun. I’m not trying to make cancer look fun, it’s not, but you have to do what you can to get through.” Deborah admitted that what she feared the most was being alone. She wanted to die at her parents’ bungalow in Woking surrounded by the buzz of her family, and did so. She even planned for a bench to be erected in her memory opposite her Barnes home.
And she suggested she would quite like her ashes to remain at home, because she hoped she would never feel lonely that way. She said: “I’m the kind of person that wouldn’t mind staying in the top drawer in the kitchen for a while.” Well yesterday, she was far from alone – wrapped in love of the stream of mourners.
When her coffin emerged from the church, they huddled in the gateway as the hearse took her away, white roses, a variety named after Deborah and displayed at this year’s Chelsea Flower Show, on top of her coffin. They watched until the hearse disappeared out of view. Eloise resolutely mouthed “Yes”, when her grandmother asked if she was okay.
Then, still no tears shed, Sebastien held out his arm for his children to follow, and they began a procession in the opposite direction, towards a private wake. There, no doubt, the stoicism will have softened – and this would have been the part Deborah loved best.
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