After her diagnosis with Stage 4 bowel cancer in 2016, Deborah James refused to be beaten. “Hideous” statistics put her chances of survival at less than 10 per cent and her life would soon became an exhausting cycle of chemotherapy, surgery and hospital visits. And yet, she remained defiant.
“I have hope. If you don’t have hope, then what have you got?”
Deborah, who was known by her social media handle Bowelbabe, was diagnosed with cancer aged 35 and died last June. Through her You, Me and the Big C podcast, hosted with Lauren Mahon and Rachael Bland, she helped to smash through the wall of silence surrounding cancer with honesty and an infectious, cheeky sense of humour.
Bowelbabe: In Her Own Words chronicles Deborah’s battle with the disease and her tireless work to raise awareness of its symptoms. It features previously unseen footage sourced from her family and voice notes as well as clips from her Instagram account, which has now amassed 997,000 followers.
Deborah’s energy is simply astonishing. It is impossible not to watch in admiration as she dances in hospital wards and drinks prosecco after having chemotherapy. Too often, squeamishness prevents us from talking about poo, urine or body scars. But through her campaigning, Deborah tried to smash this stigma: jogging around London dressed as a giant turd and taking part in candid photoshoots highlighting the scars from her surgery. While around 4.3 per cent of cancers diagnosed in the UK are among the under-40s, younger people often dismiss symptoms or wait for them to go away.
Deborah’s journey is a series of ups and downs, to put it mildly. She was in remission for just three months before the cancer returned in 2018, this time spreading with devastating efficiency. While treatments may allow her to live longer, her oncologist tells her, her new tumour is located above an artery and thus inoperable. It is a crushing blow.
Though Deborah radiated positivity on social media through her TikTok dances and glittery outfits, the documentary also reveals her moments of anguish. In one scene, she recalls being rushed to hospital after suffering a haemorrhage brought on by infective colitis.
“All I remember is coming down the stairs and shouting to my children: ‘I will love you forever,’” she says. “I never planned for it to be like this. I thought I would be able to plan how to say goodbye.”
The Covid-19 pandemic robs Deborah of the one sustaining force in her life: human connection. While her treatment continues during lockdown, she becomes weaker and her body more frail. The chemotherapy that is keeping her alive eventually begins to exhaust her completely; her wide smile turning to an anxious frown. “I’ve lost the fighting spirit,” she says from her garden. “I have tried so hard for five years, but my body doesn’t want to play ball anymore”.
There is a marked shift in tone as Deborah prepares for the inevitability of death from her parents’ house in Surrey. She ponders her husband Seb’s future with another partner, or the many milestones in her children’s lives she will not be there to see. “I just want more time,” she tells her Instagram followers. It’s heartbreaking.
These reflections are interspersed with happier moments: she receives a Damehood from the Queen and meets Prince William in her parents’ back garden. But with each day, even the simple tasks of getting out of bed and brushing her hair become unbearably draining.
Deborah’s legacy will no doubt save lives. Checks for bowel cancer have recently hit a record high, according to the NHS, and her Bowelbabe fund has raised a staggering £11 million for Cancer Research UK. The figure jumps daily as thousands of ordinary people in the UK and around the world are touched by her story. This documentary is a fitting tribute to a woman who helped us to forge a new conversation about cancer.
As her death nears, Deborah delivers a final message with her typical blend of humanity and wit: “Enjoy life, it is so precious... And check your poo”.
Deborah James: Bowelbabe In Her Own Words will air on BBC Two on Monday April 17 at 9pm
