When I was released from the school, I drifted into worse relationships and into the sex trade. I got out of that after six months. I’ve always felt like a “good girl,” but the past haunts me. I used to talk about the abuse constantly. It was always in the back of my mind. It still pops up on a regular basis, but I have not told my new partner.
A friend once told me that people don’t need to know everything about you, and I believe that. Some folks blamed me for the abuse, although it started before I was 8. Sometimes I feel I should tell my partner, as it does affect my behavior — I have low self-esteem, etc. I’ve had counseling, but it didn’t help me. When I confronted my abuser years later, he told me it was my problem.
