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Chicago Sun-Times
Chicago Sun-Times
National
Abigail Van Buren

Dear Abby: Older husband is cold, distant and probably gay

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to a man I’ll call “Ed” for 15 years. We are seniors, but he is 17 years older than I am. I have three children from a previous marriage who are grown and on their own. I think my husband is gay but never came out of the closet. He watches gay porn and once confessed to me he had a fantasy about another man. For the last 10 years, he has refused to have sex and is always making excuses (“I’m old,” “I’m tired,” “Tomorrow”).

Abby, I crave love and intimacy. Ed is cold, distant and a loner. He refuses to travel or do anything for fun. He’s well-off financially, never had kids and is a good provider. However, that is all he does. I want to leave him, but I feel guilty because of his age and because he has been a responsible provider over the years. I love him as a person, but not as a husband. Please advise. — DEPRESSED AND STUCK IN PENNSYLVANIA

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