DEAR ABBY: I have a new office mate, and we are not hitting it off well. From the beginning, I tried to engage her in friendly small talk, but I get nothing back except what seems to be defensive feedback. Every time I start a conversation, I end up feeling like I offended her. I have never felt so uncomfortable with someone I’ve worked with, and I have been working for many decades.
At this point, I now say “good morning” and tell her to have a nice night when I’m leaving. When she communicates, she uses baby talk and likes to make faces. She is so creepy. Any suggestions? — WEIRDED OUT IN FLORIDA
DEAR WEIRDED OUT: An office is not a social club. This woman is clearly not capable of engaging in the kind of banter you are used to. Accept it. Be pleasant and businesslike, and focus on the tasks at hand. If the face-making and baby talk become more than you can tolerate, and because these behaviors distract from your work, discuss them with your supervisor or your employer.
DEAR ABBY: I’m so disgusted. My husband has started walking around the house with no underwear, letting it all hang out, so to speak. Then he makes comments like, “Doesn’t this look good?” I’m sickened by his behavior. I feel violated. How do I tell him to stop without hurting his male pride? — COVERING MY EYES IN TENNESSEE
DEAR COVERING: I’m sorry you didn’t mention how old your husband is and how long you two have been married, but any radical change in an older person’s behavior could indicate a serious medical problem. Consider discussing this with your doctor because your exhibitionist spouse may need a medical and neurological exam to see if he has experienced a small stroke or the beginnings of dementia. If he’s still a “young-un,” give him the affirmation he is asking for and then ask him to cover up.
DEAR ABBY: When my husband and I first got married, I became pregnant with twins. I miscarried one of them, but the other was born healthy. Ever since he was very young, our son has mentioned that he felt like he should be a twin or he wishes he were one. My husband and I are torn about whether we should tell him he was. It may give him comfort and an understanding about why he feels this way, but it also may cause him pain and grief knowing he lost a sibling. Any advice? — SENSITIVE MOM IN THE EAST
DEAR MOM: You didn’t mention how old your son is. If he is into his teens or older, the next time he raises the subject, you and his father should tell him the truth. While he may be sad to have been unable to have a relationship with his twin, he may be glad to know his longing for twinship was related to the circumstances of his gestation and birth, and not a fantasy.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order “How to Be Popular.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)
