DEAR ABBY: Many years ago, I was the victim of a violent assault that my then-11-year-old daughter witnessed. It traumatized both of us, but me, the worst. I completely dove off the deep end. I started drinking and smoking pot, and quit going to church. My whole personality changed. I dumped every moment with my children I could onto my husband so I could go out with my “friends” to clubs, bars, concerts or parties. I then started having affairs with many different people, including women. My husband knew about all of it, and despite the torture and pain I put him through, he stayed with me.
Years later, I have managed to slowly heal from that devastating assault. I have found true joy in my children and being a mom again. I don’t party, drink or smoke anymore. But one thing has become clear: I’m no longer sexually attracted to my husband. I love him very much, but the thought of being intimate with him grosses me out. It makes me so uncomfortable. I don’t even like it when he tries to caress me. It has been like this for a year. But I do love holding hands with him and cuddling with him.
