Review at a glance: ★☆☆☆☆
Once upon a time, when menus at British restaurants all mimicked each other, wisdom had it that the way to tell a good place from a bad one was to have a nosy in the loos before ordering the ham, eggs and gruel. Clean and tidy? Mother, may I. But a pigsty? Watch out for the soup of the day, fag ash and Stella sweat.
