A Belfast woman has paid tribute to her father on the first anniversary of his death at the age of 71 after a 14 year battle with prostate cancer.
John McClelland, who died on September 1 last year, was only given three months to live when he was first diagnosed 14 years earlier.
A former railway worker, John and his family were from the Shankill area but both he and his daughter Margaret settled later in South Belfast.
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John was diagnosed with prostate cancer when he was 57, about a year after his symptoms had been put down to kidney problems. It was serious and quite advanced by that stage and the news left John, Margaret and all the family deeply shocked.
Margaret, 48, told Belfast Live: "Dad was such a character, so funny and cracking jokes all the time. Everybody loved him. Everybody called my father Papa John.
"Even the district nurses and the Marie Curie nurse who looked after him called him that. He was a father of five and a grandfather of 11 and great grandfather of two.
"He and his partner Mandie decided to move back from England to Northern Ireland once he realised how bad his illness was as he wanted to be near his family, his daughters and son and grandchildren.
"He was told then he had only three months to live but he never accepted that he was going to die. I remember that was a lot to process at the time and he came home as he wanted to be buried here. Thank the Lord he lasted for over 14 years."
John lived only three doors away from Margaret who says he was so well looked after by Mandie.
"I believe his mindset, along with the care Mandie provided, is the reason he lived so long as she looked after him 24/7 and made sure he never missed his medication or hospital appointments/treatments," she explained.
"I think that over the years, he and we developed a false sense of security as he thought he didn’t have cancer because he never spoke about it, as if it wasn’t happening to him.
"The only time he would acknowledge the cancer was when he had to go for his PSA test (cancer count in blood) and then he would be worried, as he knew if the numbers were going up, then his treatment was no longer responding.
"He had a very strong mind, and his mindset was phenomenal as he thought ‘Well, I’m still here’, even though his body was telling him otherwise. He had such a positive outlook on life. He had a lot of wisdom and was so intelligent.
"He wrote poems and was a fantastic artist, so comical and quick witted. He would always leave an imprint on everyone he met, and no one forgot him. Even his consultant Dr Mitchell would be in stitches every appointment along with the nurses. He really was one of a kind."
In his younger years John was a boxer and Margaret believes the stamina and fitness that he required helped his body in later years.
She added: "He was a very fit man right up until he was diagnosed. When he became too old for boxing, he and his friend started a local boxing club called Corinthians ABC and they had some good boxers come through.
"Our brother Jonathon walked in our dads’ footsteps and was a great amateur boxer winning many titles, Dad was super proud of him. Another interest they shared was their love of football, they both were avid Manchester United fans and now Jonathon manages a local football club, Berlin Swifts.
"Over the years, his body was not what it used to be, and he felt pain in his bones and couldn’t walk very far. Up until the past few years Dad still went on holiday every year with Mandie, he loved the sun, and the heat helped his bones."
Margaret says her father was ill on and off over the last year of his life, in and out of hospital, particularly from March of last year.
"He always seemed to bounce back before but his last time was different. His breathing became an issue as he couldn’t get a breath," she explained.
"He was in hospital a few weeks before he died and whatever the doctor said to him, he seemed to give up and wasn’t the same man when he came home. It was like the spark left his bright blue eyes. I assumed what the doctor told him was that he was going home to die.
"Dad never spoke to us about dying and he didn’t want to talk to us about funeral arrangements, but he eventually did talk to Mandie about it. He did say in passing comments to us that he wanted to be buried with his mother and be buried from my brother’s home as the Shankill was where he was born and raised.
"It turned out that he didn’t have very long and died a few weeks after he came home. It was very quick at the end, we all thought we would have had a few weeks more, but we only had days.
"That extra time at home was precious to us as we all had time to be with him individually and to help care for him over his last few days. The positive thing about it was that it brought all his children together that weekend before he died. We all got time with him and got to care for him. It was very comforting."
Recalling John's final days, Margaret added: "Unfortunately, he was in a lot of pain mainly due to fluid, which was building up all over his body. He had a lot of carbon dioxide in his body and we needed to get an extra-large bed provided in his living room to help ease his pain, as he couldn’t move from his recliner and was so uncomfortable.
"My daddy was very good with pain, and you knew that when he complained it was bad. In the end, he was scared of dying and we were all scared too for him. He was afraid to sleep in case he died before his partner Mandie came back from England that weekend as she needed a well-earned break. I believe he was waiting for her to come home.
"We had district nurses out tending to him before Marie Curie nurses were asked to help out. Our nurse, Mary-Anne, arrived the Saturday before he died on the Wednesday. She sat with us for most of the night, attending to him, and then left and came back a few hours later to help us again.
"She was absolutely brilliant, so calm, so compassionate and professional and really helped us cope with what was going on. She helped with his pain management and told us what was happening to our father at that time.
"She kept us informed with what was going to happen and which prepared us when that did happen. She was very honest with her information and supported each one of us.
"When dad died, we didn’t have anyone with us as we were waiting to change his medication to help with the pain. I was out at Medicare in Forestside Shopping Centre where I work with my sister, Sylvia, to collect his syringe driver.
"My daughter Hayley called me to say that her grandfather was not responsive. When I got to his home, I had to do CPR on him as advised by the ambulance service, but I knew he was gone.
"It was very traumatic for all of us who were with him at the time. Even though we knew this day would come we were never prepared for it as our dad was the anchor of our family and had such an impact on each one of us.
"After he died, I found it hard to come to terms with it and needed some therapy afterwards, which was provided by my employer, to help deal with it all."
To honour her late father's memory, Margaret is one of many taking part in Marie Curie’s Twilight Walk in Belfast on September 30.
"I have taken part in the Twilight Walk several times with colleagues, as where I work, Forestside Shopping Centre, is the corporate partner for the event. But this year is going to be a bit different and even more personal as I will also be walking with more family members in memory of our dad, Papa John," she explained.
"For me, it’s a mark of remembrance and a thank-you for all that Marie Curie did to help our father. It’s such a poignant event and so special to see everyone at the end light a candle for their loved one, someone who has passed or who is facing end-of-life.
"You really feel that you are part of something important as everyone beside you has lost someone or faces losing someone. It’s a most moving experience and I hope that me and my family will walk in years to come.’
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