Danny Drinkwater has admitted he was 'relieved' to depart Chelsea at the end of his contract this summer. He went on to divulge his plans for the future and revealed he was once told he was not in the club's plans with an hour remaining in the transfer window.
The former Leicester star was one of five senior Chelsea players to see their deals expire in 2022, and the 32-year-old delivered an apology to supporters for the outcome of his £35 million in 2017. Drinkwater joined the club a year after winning the league with the Foxes when he shared a key partnership with N'Golo Kante.
Drinkwater started his first season with a calf strain but managed to feature 22 times under Antonio Conte, but things quickly unravelled. The midfielder made just one appearance for the Blues following that opening 12 months and saw loan moves to Burnley, Aston Villa, and Kasimpasa fail to bear much fruit before impressing for Reading during 2021/22. It's a period that has left Drinkwater with some anger.
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He told Sky Sports: "I mean, I'm relieved firstly because, again, it's not hard to see it definitely wasn't ideal, didn't benefit the club. Angry because of how it's gone, how I was treated. I'm not bitter about it because you can look back and say what if's and have hindsight - which is obviously huge. But I think it was a long time coming, I think. I moved with this big fee to a big club. I had quite a lot of expectations because I don't think a lot of people expected the move to happen for that much money or whatever. There was a push to get me fit, got back fit, did too much too soon and pulled another muscle in my calf, which wasn't ideal at all."
Drinkwater's frustration is understandable when he reveals that despite a very- good relationship with Maurizio Sarri, he was told in the final hour of that transfer window that he was not in the coach's plans for the season. Accusations that he would be happy to train and retain his salary, but it's clear the Manchester United product found it to be a difficult period, even with the extra freedom his position allowed.
He added: "Under Sarri, I actually had a good pre-season. There was a little niggle, maybe two weeks in, where I had to have a week off with an injury, but other than that, it was all good. I got to the last hour of the transfer window and got pulled into the office, not expected at all 'don't think you're going to be in our plans,' and I was like, what? Me and Sarri got on like a house on fire off the pitch. Honestly, you couldn't chalk and cheese it from on the pitch to off the pitch - it was mad. But at the same time good. My decision then was I'm not going, I can't go, my priority is my son, I need to get this figured out. I'm going to stay till January, just work hard, and keep my head down.
"Living the life lasts for about two weeks, you figure out you're not involved in games, I'll be just training, I can do what I want, I can go out with the lads, I was single at the time I can go enjoy myself in London, I can do all this which was great - it had its benefits, I was loving it, it was great. But in the background, there's always things that burn away, and as a person, if you're not open enough to speak about to the right type of people about stuff, it chews up at you. Again, I didn't learn that until further down the line. I was always 'I'll deal with it. I'm a big strong, try and be a man' and all that rubbish. You learn stuff about yourself as you go through these processes, but for people who think that a big wage or people with a lot of money are consistently happy because they've got money, it's just not true at all."
The resulting years saw Drinkwater involved in a number of controversies as he was banned from driving in 2019 after admitting to drink-driving and being beaten up outside of a nightclub while on loan at Burnley. The loanee had gone out in Manchester following a Premier League defeat to Liverpool at the start of the international break before the altercation led to him picking up an ankle injury that sidelined him for two months. He has acknowledged it was a difficult time for his mental health.
He said: "Nan passed, granddad passed, dad got diagnosed with leukaemia, lost my dog - if you've got a dog, you'll know - was drink-driving which isn't like me at all, but I was, so I made a mistake. I was fighting for my son, which was going on consistently, which I thought I could deal with, but it takes its toll. It chips away all the time, and when somebody has too much to juggle, it can hit you. I think during that time it did hit me, and I was thinking, 'wow, is this what it's come to?' I felt almost lost. That's definitely the lowest I think I've been. I didn't think I was depressed, but I knew if I didn't speak to somebody, it could only go that way because I was just fighting and fighting and fighting, and it wasn't helping me or anybody
."That nightclub incident was madness. It was literally... I'm trying to think of the timing of that, I didn't go out drinking, and everybody thinks I'm a big drinker. Where's that come from? Because the press have leaked I've been done for drink-driving and been beat up in a nightclub. Everyone thinks I'm a big drinker, it's madness. I enjoy a drink as much as everyone else. I'm not like a sit at home drink a bottle of six every night, wake up rough, do you know what I mean, that's not me. I'm not this preconception, it doesn't fit, it's not right."
While his time at Chelsea has come to an end, Drinkwater has no intentions of calling time on his career and has already seen a number of offers. He paid tribute to his time at Reading and noted that he is still hungry and wants to continue to push himself.
Drinkwater added: No chance (of retiring). Yeah (looking for a club). There are a few offers flying about like it's a weird time for footballers, especially in the window because you had COVID you took a hit worldwide, not just in football, and it's picking itself up now. That last season helped me massively getting all the games under my belt and then hopefully showing in the last part of last season that I've still got the ability and hunger and stuff and wanting to keep pushing myself - that's important. There are options. It's about a decision, really. I'm still hungry. I love winning. It's a difficult thing to let go at this age."
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