JULIAN HOPE
There must be something in the London water. Well, of course there is, it’s jobby; thanks to the shower in charge of the country, there’s tonnes of the stuff bobbing up and down the Thames. But it’s also an idiom, and just like exactly this time last week, it gives us an excuse to lash Chelsea and Tottenham together for the purposes of our story. Thing is, neither club appears to be a model of corporate competence right now. Only this morning, Chelsea posted a loss of £121m for the 2021-22 season, a number which doesn’t look all that clever to simple folk like Football Daily. The club blame the Boris Johnson-approved sanctions imposed on former owner Roman Abramovich, which will continue to be felt “in the following years”, as presumably will the £500m splurge set to hit next year, so good luck to everyone at the Bridge. Perhaps someone can find a way of pinning Kalidou Koulibaly and Marc Cucurella on Liz Truss when it all goes up.
Meanwhile up north, Tottenham continue to do Tottenham stuff, taking eight days to sack a manager who had effectively sacked himself eight days ago. With Antonio Conte cluttering up the place all last week, no mean feat seeing as he wasn’t even physically there, Tottenham’s exercise in Olympic-standard foot dragging ensured the club missed out on one of their top targets in Roy Hodg … no, that’s not right, is it … Thomas Tuchel. While Spurs were faffing, the former Chelsea boss took over at Bayern Munich after the German champions, one point off the top of the Bundesliga and through to the quarters of Big Cup with eight wins out of eight, defenestrated Julian Nagelsmann with a ruthless cold-blooded efficiency that would make a mob hit feel like a Duggee hug. Oh Daniel! This is how it’s done.
The one plus point of Levy’s procrastination is that Nagelsmann, another longtime target for Spurs, is suddenly on the market. The German is hanging around the Job Centre with Luis Enrique and Mauricio Pochettino and, of the three out-of-work big names, he’s the one considered most likely to next hang his 1970s US sportscaster blazer on the infamously shoogly peg in the Spurs manager’s office. Having said that, with Cristian Stellini installed as caretaker until the end of the season, pretty much anything could happen in the interim. There’s plenty of time for someone else to snap up Nagelsmann, Luis Enrique and Poch, and for other rumoured names such as Thomas Frank, Ange Postecoglou and Roberto De Zerbi to go down different career paths as well. Maybe this is one for Mr Roy after all? He’ll be done with Palace by the summer! Scoff all you like, but the way Spurs go about their business, it’s probably best not to hoot too much at this suggestion just yet.
RECOMMENDED WATCHING
As the climate crisis threatens life on Greenland, football is offering some hope. Get the view from the top of the world in this short film.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
Having read Teddy Sheringham’s quote advocating Spurs appoint Tim Sherwood as manager [Friday’s
FiverFootball Daily], ChatGPT’s assessment of Tottingham’s chance of winning the title suddenly seemed positively prescient and well-informed” – Martyn Shapter.
I know I won’t be the only one but, come on (puts on green sweatshirt) “Young Edward”, you should really have held that material back for Edinburgh this summer. Just that alone would get you a live Christmas DVD and maybe, at a push, your own travelogue on Channel 5” – Anthony Train.
With regard to Harry Kane, the best this country has produced, there is one other thing he has failed to do: manage to make Daniel Levy look entirely competent” – Chris Brown.
Imagine the vitriol that Gareth Southgate would have faced had England lost one or both of their opening Euro qualifiers. Now consider that Saka and Kane receive all the plaudits in the wins, with scant mention of the manager’s successful tactics or successful selection. No wonder “people close to” the man in the waistcoat questioned his sanity in returning to the job! Who’d be an England manager?!” – Alex McMillan.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Alex McMillan.
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