Dame Kelly Holmes has told the Loose Women that following her mother's death in 2018, she had to "change" the way she handled her sexuality. The Olympic medalist, 52, came out as gay earlier this week and was appearing on the lunchtime show ahead of her documentary, Being Me, airing on ITV on Sunday (June 26).
Opening up about the last few days, Kelly said that her "Mum would be so proud" of her. She added that she "didn't want [her] friends and family at [her] funeral saying that [she] couldn't live her life". In what has been a whirlwind week, the Olympic Gold medalist said that she “felt like she’d been in a bit of a bubble,” following her appearance on This Morning earlier in the week. Her decision to come out in her fifties was partly due to the fact that she had been living in 'silence' for 34 years.
Kelly described how she thought that young people now “lived freely because people have fought for [them]”. Speaking about meeting 'someone' in the army and then subsequently telling her family of her sexuality at 27, Kelly stated that “assumption is not freeing” and although people thought she might be gay, she didn’t tell anyone in sport about her sexuality.
Read more: Dame Kelly Holmes comes out as gay during Pride month
Kelly also spoke about how she met her first girlfriend during basic training. “She just kissed me and it felt right,” she said as she chatted with the Loose Women about the criminality of being gay in the army. She added that “you’re always watching your back and scared of who you are talking to”.
In her documentary that airs on Sunday, Kelly describes how she now has somewhat of a complicated relationship with the army. Despite being an honorary colonel, she said that she is still scared to tell her colleagues that she is gay. “I didn’t think I’d ever talk about being a gay woman. Period”.
During her time serving Kelly describes in her documentary that she was "always watching [her] back and who [she was] talking to." If a person was found to be gay, they would lose their job. Talking to the Loose Women, Kelly said that "discipline is instilled but you can't help who you are either". To limit the risk, Kelly would pile up her belongings and put them in somebody’s boot in the car park. “Anything they could find to see if you were gay”, according to the sports star in the documentary, could make her risk losing her job in the army.
Kelly Holmes: Being Me airs on ITV on Sunday, June 26 at 10.20pm
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