The family of a young dad who was stabbed to death by his abusive partner want to help end to the toxic stigma surrounding male victims of domestic violence
Gary, 36, was stabbed to death by Emma Walsh at her home on Lavan Close in Everton on April 10 after enduring months of abuse from the "controlling" 31-year-old, who had previously attacked him several times, leaving him covered in bruises and bite marks.
His cousin Shannon Landers, 30, said: "I wasn't aware of what Gary was going through. Some of the family was aware, but only close family. Nobody ever talked about Gary and his partner, it never really came up in conversation. It was only after he died that it all started coming out and we realised what was happening. The severity of what was going on was never realised."
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Gary's funeral took place at GreenAcres Rainford in St Helens on May 10. Instead of flowers, guests were asked to make donations to Mankind, the UK charity supporting male victims of domestic abuse.
Shannon hopes to raise even more money for the charity by organising a mass sponsored silence on the anniversary of Gary's death.
She said: "I feel it would represent the silence men have to go through during their abuse. I thought it would be appropriate to conduct on the anniversary of his death, where he was the most silent."
The latest Crime Survey for England and Wales, dated 2021, showed that 27% of reported domestic abuse-related crimes involved male victims, with the majority of these being aged 75 and over.
According to Mankind, 49% of male victims fail to tell anyone they are suffering domestic abuse, compared to 19% of female victims. 61% of the men who call the charity's helpline have never spoken to anyone about the abuse they are suffering before, and 64% would not have called if the helpline was not anonymous.
Shannon said: "Gary was really light-hearted. He liked to make people laugh. He was just a very nice, ordinary guy, always smiling whever I saw him at family gatherings.
"We can ask ourselves why he didn't leave (Walsh), but love is a very strong thing. Maybe he didn't know how to leave her. Maybe he was scared to leave because she was the type of person who would try to find him and hurt him. We know she definitely stabbed her former partner. She threatened his mum.
"The court case as been an emotional journey. Everyone has been extremely nervous. When it came to the details of (Gary's) injuries it was very hard to hear. A lot of the things coming out of the woodwork were really shocking. We were all hoping for the correct outcome and we're all happy that justice has been done and Walsh has got what she deserves.
"I'm relieved everyone could see through her lies. She wasn't a victim - she's a monster."
She said Gary's murder serves as a tragic reminder that "any gender is capable of abuse".
"Even today, men are still talling each other to 'man up'. You hear it so many times - man up, don't let a woman tell you what to do - and I feel like a lot of men feel like they are unable to speak out," she said. "They feel like they should be the braver sex.
"Most domestic abuse support out there is for women. But support shouldn't have a gender, it should be for absolutely everyone who needs it."
She added; "I'm sick of the term 'man up'. You can't man up when you're dead."
- Mankind's confidential helpline is available for male victims of domestic abuse and domestic violence across the UK, as well as their friends, family, neighbours, work colleagues and employers, on 01823 334244.
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