One of the most difficult parts of having children can be finding childcare when you have prior commitments. Thankfully, having family members nearby can be helpful.
In a recent Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit, one dad explained how his 20-year-old daughter was upset for not being compensated after babysitting her younger siblings multiple times per week. He wrote in the post that she was a college student who lives in his house rent-free with a few chores.
“Occasionally she has to watch over her younger brothers since I may be busy with work or when I need a break to hang out with my girlfriend,” the father wrote in the Reddit post.
Recently, his daughter approached him saying that the workload has been too heavy. “She told me she’s okay with cooking and cleaning around the house, but having to watch over her siblings was annoying and stressful and that it’s taking away from her studies,” the post read.
“That pissed me off because I myself went to school while having to pay bills and take care of her as a baby alongside my ex-wife. I told her she was acting very privileged and that if I could do it, so could she.”
As a result, she called her aunt [her dad’s sister] to complain about how she’s being treated. According to the Reddit poster, her aunt agreed with her because she is “very kind and gullible at times”.
“She called me and said the least I could do was give her an allowance for the chores I make her do,” the father wrote. “I explained why I felt that wasn’t necessary and she told me not to compare my situation to my daughter’s since apparently I put myself in the position I was in back then which I guess is a fair argument.”
AITA for not paying my daughter to babysit her younger siblings?
byu/Throwaway476905 inAmItheAsshole
He explained that he viewed paying for her college and living in his home rent-free as her allowance. “So I just wanted to ask whether I’m wrong for not wanting to pay her extra money to do basic chores,” the dad concluded the post.
After posting, many people took to the comments section to defend his daughter, specifically being upset over asking his daughter to “suffer” just because he did. “That was your own baby and your own decision, same as now. Your daughter has no kids, it’s not her responsibility,” one comment read.
Another commenter agreed, writing: “You’re not the a**hole for not giving her an allowance. She is living rent free, after all. You are the a**hole for your diatribe about how if you can go to school, pay bills, and take care of a family, she should also be able to. What may have been easy for you, may not be for her. People have different stress thresholds. If she’s telling you that babysitting is too stressful on top of school and chores, I think you should listen.”
One commenter pointed out that if he personally needed a break to spend time with his girlfriend, then it makes sense for his daughter to need a break as well.
“But your daughter has expressed that this is an unfair burden. I’ve never been a huge fan of allowance in the sense of monetising being a member of a functioning household, but being a part-time nanny is a different thing. You seem to prioritise a life balance (you ask her to watch the kids when you need a break to hang out with your girlfriend) so you must understand the burden running a household can have on a person. If this is more than once a month, on days and times agreed upon by the two of you, it’s time to hire a sitter or compensate her for the hours you’d have to hire outside help,” they wrote.
