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Crikey
Crikey
Health
Josefine Ganko

‘Dad’s had to watch mum deteriorate’: the personal toll of the aged care crisis

Margaret and Ken Dyer have been married for almost 70 years and live together in aged care in Victoria. Margaret has dementia and a recent lockdown of their facility aggravated her condition.

Their daughter Sue tells Crikey she was extremely concerned should another lockdown occur: “It’s been agony for dad watching her deteriorating and his feeling of helplessness.” 

For people suffering with dementia, a locked room and a lack of stimulation can result in a more rapid mental decline. Sue says that after five or six days of lockdown, Margaret started refusing food and drink and soon became clinically dehydrated. Her condition deteriorated and she spent most of her days “slumped in her chair with little reason or ability to stay awake”.

A critical shortage of staff has caused problems both big and small. Food and medication are late, floors go uncleaned, and there are no fresh towels. Infection control means plastic cutlery and crockery, but negotiating limp plates and slippery forks with limited dexterity is a challenge for Ken and Margaret.

Even the little things slipping through the cracks can pack a punch: Ken’s daily paper never seems to be delivered any more, and this morning ritual was a big part of how he coped with isolation and kept up to date with the world outside. 

With fears Margaret didn’t have long left, Sue was given special permission to visit. She discovered her dad’s hearing aid had been missing for days, and there was mess covering the floor of their room.

Sue was wearing full PPE: mask, visor, apron and gloves. She wasn’t allowed to touch her parents.

The Dyers are out of lockdown now, but Sue says she fears the worst if another one were to be imposed: “I am certain mum’s chance of survival would be low.”

Want to share your story from the aged care crisis? Write to us at letters@crikey.com.au. We will not publish without contacting you first.

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