No parent ever wants their child to have health issues. Whether they end up with a broken arm or a serious kidney infection that lands them in the hospital, it’s incredibly painful for moms and dads to see their little ones suffer. But when children are diagnosed with conditions that will last the rest of their lives, it’s crucial that their parents learn how to manage them.
One father recently shared a story on the AITAH subreddit detailing a frightening experience he had concerning his son’s health. When his ex-wife was unable to lower their son’s blood sugar, the dad started wondering if he would be safe in her home. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as a conversation between the father and Bored Panda.
This father was informed that his son’s blood sugar rose to dangerous levels while at his mom’s house
Image credits: Kindel Media / pexels (not the actual photo)
But instead of figuring out how to solve the problem, his ex-wife decided to blame him and get the police involved
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: brycen64
“I never expected anything like [this] to happen”
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
To find out more about this situation, we reached out to the father who shared this story, Reddit user Brycen64. He was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and share what has happened since this experience.
“[My ex-wife] has moved on to other fights to pick such as school uniforms for the kids and demanding I pay for my son’s missing lunch box (turns out it was in her trunk),” he says. “As far as this issue, I have been in contact with my lawyer since day one, but we just got out of court with her. So any legal help will be a while away.”
But thankfully, the dad says his son has been happy and healthy since the incident. “No impact on his health,” he shared. “One of my biggest issues in the moment was the doctor said not to take him to the emergency room because he seemed healthy, and the ER was unnecessary exposure for a little guy with an autoimmune disease.”
We were also curious to know if the mother had ever had issues managing her son’s diabetes in the past. “When he was originally diagnosed, we were married. I handled the brunt of the complex issues,” Brycen64 noted. “We were learning what I was learning, but she was always nervous. So I handled things like diluting his insulin (a complex process that made me feel like a scientist).”
“She gets things wrong from time to time. There was another incident where she didn’t believe me on an insulin pump issue (We had to put his pump into manual mode; she told me to give him long acting insulin while the pump was in manual mode. This is very very very wrong and harmful. You should never use long acting insulin with a pump on). But I never expected anything like my post to happen,” the father said.
“I always suspected she’d call the cops on me some day; I think she’s been waiting for the moment to do it”
Image credits: Pixabay / pexels (not the actual photo)
“She’s always been a high-conflict difficult coparent with suspected narcissistic personality disorder, but I never expected her to not give my son insulin or to let him stay so high for so long,” he shared. “Though I always suspected she’d call the cops on me some day; I think she’s been waiting for the moment to do it.”
We also asked the father what he thought of the replies to his post. “When dealing with a gaslighting narcissist, it’s a daily battle. And if you’re not careful, you can get sucked into imaginary war they wage,” he said. “Their constant negative comments also wear you down and make you feel like you’re broken. I see her surrounded by an echo chamber of her own curated sycophants, and honestly, I worry that I’m doing the same.”
“When everyone around me thinks she’s a crazy narcissist, I wonder if I’m just as blind as her. So hearing outside, third party validation on the internet (where people are more than happy to tell you to go screw yourself) is really helpful,” he continued.
But unfortunately, the dad says that the law doesn’t work the way people think it does. “I have been very disappointed in our legal system. I can’t just keep my kid away from her, that’s how I would end up looking like a high-conflict parent to the court. My only option is to document, document, document and to lose sleep when he’s at her house making sure to watch his blood sugar on our monitoring apps (which are highly unreliable at night because he sleeps on his Dexcom, which causes a compression issue, so his blood will read off the charts low when he’s actually high).”
“Life isn’t as simple as the internet makes it out to be,” he added. “This was an interesting post for them to engage with. This has been the last four years of my life, and it will not get any better.”
“The real solution is to root for my ex-wife’s mental health”
As far as what he’s going to to next, Brycen64 says document, document, document. “But the law isn’t the best solution to my problem. It’s a necessary step I’ll be taking, but the real solution is to root for my ex-wife’s mental health,” he added. “So stay vigilant and engaged as a father to help my three sons deal with their life with their mother.”
“I’ve watched their relationship with their mom slowly erode. It’s not good for sons to resent their mother, so I have to find a way to help them process and cope and forgive,” the father shared. “That’s not a one-time conversation. It’s many long walks just letting them know I’m here for them. It’s helping their teachers advocate for them. And most of the time, it’s just being an [awesome] dad when they’re with me: putting my phone down, getting on the floor with them to play games, and laughing as much as possible with them.”
Finally, Brycen64 added, “It’s no excuse, but hurt people hurt people, and unhealthy people can’t maintain healthy relationships. I’d like to encourage anyone who comes across this little story to stay focused on the bigger pictures in their life. Getting sucked into drama can feel good or provide a way to vent, but all it will do is cause chaos.”
“Even if you’re feeling 100% right and justified, if you are resolving problems without love (yes, even loving your enemies) then you are only adding to the problem,” the father says. “I hope everyone can navigate their own crises by staying focused on the true goal of health and wellness for as many people as possible in their journeys.”
We would love to hear your thoughts on this story in the comments below, pandas. Then, if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda piece discussing similar drama, look no further than right here!
Readers took the father’s side and encouraged him to get a lawyer, and he joined in on the conversation
