A dad is fighting back against vile trolls who jeer he should 'stop having kids' as two are disabled - using it as an opportunity to educate people instead. Ben Seal shares videos on TikTok to document his day-to-day life raising six-year-old Henry Seal, who has autism, and 17-month-old Reggie Seal, who has Down's syndrome.
Although most TikTok users applaud the dad-of-three for raising awareness of his children's additional needs, he has also attracted comments from vile trolls. But the 34-year-old has used their vitriol as an opportunity to educate, as he often does when people make disparaging comments in real life.
The salesman credits his sons with helping him develop patience and understanding - even for those who insult and ridicule his family, as he believes it comes from a 'place of ignorance'. Kind-hearted Ben has even posted videos with some vile slurs including 'family of sp*stics' and 'inbred' plastered across them in a bid to educate others to be more compassionate.
Ben, from Broadstairs, Kent, said: "I've been into doing awareness-raising work for many years. I've done different campaigns raising awareness about different disabilities. When we found out my son, Reggie, had Down's syndrome I started posting videos about that. I saw a lot of responses from people who wanted to hear more about Down's syndrome.
"Then I introduced my son, Henry, who has autism, and got a lot of questions about autism. I thought that if I started posting more about autism and Down's syndrome, I could help more people. Obviously, not everybody wants an educational lesson and some people want to take it a different way. I've had people comment 'why do you keep having babies if they keep having disabilities?'
"I just think it's not about that. Whether they've got a disability or not, at the end of the day that's my child and they're there to be loved. I don't know why it bothers people when it doesn't bother me. The response to my TikToks are mostly positive. It's only every now and then I get a negative response.
"I don't go after everyone who has something negative to say, and I don't do it to be horrible or angry because otherwise my message would lose its weight. If I was to go in all guns blazing, nobody would listen so I try to make light of the responses, unless they go too far and somebody calls your child an a***hole or something like that.
"I know that by putting myself out there, I'm going to get some negativity. When people question why I keep having kids, I think it comes from a place of ignorance. The way a lot of people see it, they think a person with a disability has nothing to live for.
"They probably see a kid with Down's syndrome and think 'oh, his parents are going to have to look after him for his whole life'. If my kids are always with me, then so be it, I'd love it. I'm not ready to say goodbye to any of them, not now, not in ten years, not in twenty years. If they have to stay with us, they have to stay with us."
Ben credits his understanding approach towards trolls to being a father as his kids have taught him patience. Ben said: "Seven or eight years ago, I would have blown up at people who made these comments. But from having my kids, I've gained the patience and the understanding to see where they're coming from.
"As a dad, I've learnt to slow everything down and savour it. There's no point being in a rush trying to get to the next step. My kids have taught me patience and to wait. With Reggie, he's nearly two and he's not walking yet but we're not in a rush for him to do that. People say 'he should be walking by now', but he's got Down's syndrome and he needs to build the muscle up more. It's about being patient. I'm a salesman so it's a fast-paced life, but he's taught me to slow it all down."
Through his TikTok, Ben wants to educate and reassure people about disabilities while still acknowledging the difficulties. Ben said: "The main thing I'm trying to raise awareness with my TikTok is that people should be nicer to those we see as different. It still feels as if the world is not as accepting.
"I won't lie, before I had Reggie, I didn't know anything about Down's syndrome. I wouldn't go out of my way to make anyone's life a misery, I just wasn't educated so I didn't speak out about it. When he came along, I started to do the research and get educated. That's why I talk about it so much, I want people to be accepting.
"More kids are being diagnosed and I want people to have some reassurance that everything is going to be alright if it comes into their family. They'll face difficulties but they're so full of love, and it's so great when they hit those milestones. Henry struggles to fit in at school. When he knows somebody doesn't like him, it's really hard on him. He really wants to be everyone's friend.
"But we had his school reports and he's bang on for everything. So despite all the additional things going on in his head, he's still able to knuckle down and get his work. That makes me incredibly proud because it must be exhausting for him. Reggie's just getting into the crawl position at 17 months, while most parents are celebrating this at eight or nine months. I'm even more proud of him though because I know how much extra work it takes for him to get there."
But. unfortunately, it's not just online that Ben and his family have dealt with nasty reactions. The family even endure negative situations while out and about, but even then they take it as an opportunity to educate others to be more understanding.
Ben said: "We've had many incidents where things have been overwhelming for Henry and he's broken down, it can be something as simple as us breaking our routine. One time we were taking him home from a Christmas lights turn-on and we got a bus instead of a taxi. That threw Henry off a bit, and he was making some noise. The bus driver turned around and shouted 'If he wants to get off the f****** bus, let him off the bus'.
"It really scared Henry when he did that. My partner Leanne was like 'who do you think you're talking to? You can't talk to him like that'. Quite a few people on the bus were agreeing with her, and were saying to the driver 'you shouldn't have been like that'. People do sometimes have something to say about Henry when he's having a tough time.
"They tend to see him as being a bit of a bratty child, we hear a lot of tuts and get a lot of people looking at you in restaurants like you shouldn't be there. We just deal with it. At first, it was really tough for us, but now we sometimes try to give an educational lesson if the people are sitting at the table next to us. You'll hear it more from the older generation. You often hear 'you never had autism back in my day'. Well, you did, it was never diagnosed."
Most TikTok users who have commented, support Ben in his endeavour to raise awareness about children with special needs. Hailey Billings commented: "Those kids are lucky to have you. So sorry people can be so ignorant and cruel." Samantha Kaiser wrote: "Your kids are adorable, people are cruel." Samantha Claire commented: "With all that love and support anyone would be glad to be part of your family."
Other commenters weren't as kind in their responses. One user wrote: "Have to agree…why keep bringing more disabled people into this world?" One commenter wrote: "I agree, stop having kids if they keep coming out sick."
