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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Sport
Barney Ronay

Cricket’s George Costanza: McCullum makes himself look vital by not turning up

An illustration depicting Brendon McCullum on a 'Missing' poster
Brendon McCullum will have missed the opening 54 matches of the County Championship, 43% of the first-class season, by the time he arrives in England. Illustration: David Lyttleton

George: Right now I just sit around pretending I’m busy.
Jerry: How do you do that?
George: I look annoyed. Think about it. When you look annoyed all the time, people think you’re busy. [Rolls his eyes, slaps his forehead, does look busy.]

Does anyone remember Brendon McCullum? You know. Baz. It was a thing. People said “Bazball” in parliament. It was probably in the dictionary, one of those new zeitgeisty words, like rofl. Distinguishing marks? Hat. Jawline. A way of standing. Sports socks provocatively splayed on an ornate balcony. Look, it doesn’t really matter. But has anyone actually … seen him?

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