That’s all, then, on another difficult night for Manchester United at their “Theatre of Nightmares”. Thanks for reading this MBM. Nighty night.
Erik ten Hag is asked to reflect on the game by TNT. “Do you have one hour?! … we played very good until the red card … the red card changed everything … it became a different game … but then you concede two goals that never should count … it’s very disappointing … in this moment we have to deal with many decisions against us … the season is long and at one point it will turn in our favour … [the Rashford red card] was a very harsh decision … I am sure he was going for the ball … the refereeing was not sure … after half-time it went better, but first the two goals should not count … first is offside, there is a player in front of Onana … the second, what can you do for that? … I have seen a lot of positives from the game … but at the end we lose some focus … it is hard when you have to play for so long with ten men … with ten we were still controlling the game … it is very disappointing … we fought so hard, we played so good, but still we don’t have one point.”
Erik ten Hag reaction still to come. We’ll be here for it, though with the game running late, we’ll have to wait for AC Jimbo’s goals show to rumble into town. Shouldn’t take as long as it sounds. In the meantime, Jamie Jackson’s report is here.
Rasmus Højlund speaks to TNT Sports. “We started very well … we controlled the game until the red card and that changed the game … if you don’t look at the result [wry, knowing smile] we did quite well … we switched off a little bit … I know how the crowd can help the team here … we did quite good at the beginning of the second half … it’s unfortunate that we are here with zero points again.”
TNT show a replay of the incident (66 min) that won United a penalty in the second half. It certainly was handball … but not by Lukas Lerager! In fact Harry Maguire headed it down onto his own hand, the ball pinging upwards from his fingers and above Lerager’s forearm. Just another surreal twist to a wacky game.
That is one of the great Champions League games. Manchester United played their best 40 minutes of football this season, Rasmus Højlund scoring his fourth and fifth goals of the tournament, and looked to be coasting to victory … until Marcus Rashford was sent off for standing on Elias Jelert’s ankle. After which, bedlam. Copenhagen were level before the break, Bruno Fernandes re-established United’s lead after it from the spot, and then the visitors collapsed at the back over the home stretch. Two late goals turned it around for the hosts, and now United are in all sorts of bother with a trip to Galatasaray coming up in three weeks and Bayern Munich still to come to Manchester.
| Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Bayern Munich | 4 | 5 | 12 |
| 2 | FC Copenhagen | 4 | -1 | 4 |
| 3 | Galatasaray | 4 | -2 | 4 |
| 4 | Man Utd | 4 | -2 | 3 |
Updated
FULL TIME: Copenhagen 4-3 Manchester United
A player called Roony condemns United to defeat. It seems Parken is their “Theatre of Nightmares” after all.
Updated
90 min +5: Fernandes launches a Hail Mary forward. United win a throw on the left. Dalot to fling long … but no! He flips to McTominay, who tees up Fernandes for a long-distance whack. Grabara fumbles but recovers, and that is surely that!
90 min +4: Copenhagen keep the ball in United’s half and the clock ticks on.
90 min +3: Maguire wears an affronted look, though the decision didn’t really make much difference. Goal kick or free kick? Copenhagen’s turn to take their time.
90 min +2: A loose ball drops to Maguire on the edge of the D. He’d won it himself in a challenge with Lerager. Maguire sends a rasping, rising drive off the top of the crossbar. What an attempt! But it wouldn’t have counted anyway, because the referee awards a very soft free kick for the initial challenge.
90 min +1: The first of five added minutes sees a dropping ball shave Larsson’s arm on the edge of the box. Fernandes is livid, he wants another spot kick, but he’s not getting one. Larsson’s arm was tucked into his body.
90 min: Almost an afterthought, but it’s ended Bayern 2-1 Galatasaray. Bakambu had snatched a consolation for Gala in the third minute of stoppage time.
88 min: Parken is pumping. This is one hell of a game of football.
Updated
GOAL! Copenhagen 4-3 Manchester United (Bardghji 87)
Varane’s loose pass allows Bardghji space down the right. A low cross. Claesson should score, but slices so badly that the ball doesn’t even go out of play to the left. Copenhagen recycle possession. A cross from the left this time. Maguire can only eyebrow it across to Bardghji, who hits a first-time shot down and up into the top right. A player called Roony could have settled it! Beyond absurd, no?
Updated
86 min: Copenhagen press United back into their final third. There doesn’t seem to be a way out for the visitors at the moment. The hosts probing hither and yon.
84 min: Hojlund is sacrificed for Mount.
GOAL! Copenhagen 3-3 Manchester United (Lerager 83)
The corner’s only half cleared. Falk, on the left-hand corner of the box, crosses towards the back post. Lerarger, who gave away the penalty, opens his body and sidefoots home from close range. Simple as that. Dalot asleep, like the red devil on that Nightmare banner.
Updated
82 min: Wan-Bissaka’s excitable backpass needs to be dealt with by Onana, else it sneak into the bottom left. Onana chests down calmly but can’t clear to deny the corner. And from that …
81 min: Send it into the mixer, that’s what, forcing Grabara to drop the ball. Maguire bundles home, but the keeper had been impeded before dropping and the goal won’t stand.
80 min: Garnacho dribbles purposefully down the left and wins a corner off Boilesen. Fernandes refuses to take it under a barrage of plastic cups and fag lighters. The home crowd aren’t happy, but what’s Fernandes to do?
79 min: Grabara clanks the ball carelessly to Fernandes, who could shoot but decides to tee up the in-rushing McTominay instead. McTominay finds the top right … of the stand behind the goal. That could easily have been a nerve-settling fourth.
78 min: Some good work from Achouri wins a corner down the left. Before it can be taken, Boilesen and Larsson come on for Vavro and Achouri. Nothing comes of the corner.
76 min: Harry Kane has doubled Bayern’s lead with his second goal of the evening against Galatasaray, on 86 minutes. The six-time champions will surely be winning Group A.
Updated
74 min: A deep cross from the left for Bardghji at the far stick. He crosses back. Onana punches away. Achouri tries to bring the ball down on the edge of the box, only to be blown for a high kick. His foot was not particularly high, the same height as Wan-Bissaka in fact, so he’s apoplectic with annoyance. But the referee’s not for turning. The pressure on United released.
72 min: … and replaced Gonçalves with Tanlongo.
71 min: Copenhagen have sent on Sørensen in place of Ankersen.
70 min: In the other Group A game, Harry Kane has given Bayern Munich the lead against Galatasaray on 80 minutes.
GOAL! Copenhagen 2-3 Manchester United (Fernandes 69 pen)
Fernandes sweeps majestically into the top-left corner, and ten-man United are back in front! Grabara had no chance!
Updated
Penalty for Manchester United!
68 min: VAR summons the referee to the screen. He has a long, long look. Eventually he draws a TV screen in the air, then points to the spot! Fernandes grabs the ball and prepares to take.
66 min: … the resulting free kick is pumped into the Copenhagen box. Maguire heads down onto Lerager’s outstretched arm, and VAR will take a look at a potential penalty.
65 min: Vavro, on a booking, wrestles with Hojlund from behind. It’s a foul. United want a second yellow, because Vavro’s arm brushed the side of Hojlund’s face, but they’re not getting one. However …
64 min: A loose pass by Amrabat is pounced on by the aforementioned Bardghji, who then slices an overly ambitious effort high into the stand.
63 min: Elyounoussi is replaced by the 17-year-old prospect Roony Bardghji. United aren’t going to be undone by someone called Roony, are they? That would just about put the tin lid on tonight’s absurdity.
62 min: There’s a sense both teams fancy their chances of snatching victory … but also that both realise there will be a level of embarrassment, for differing reasons, if they don’t. Hence all the players taking perhaps more care than they normally would.
61 min: Falk slips Elyounoussi into the United box down the right. His low drive is blocked bravely by Maguire, who needs a little bit of treatment. But he’s OK to continue.
59 min: Claesson has a lash at goal from 25 yards, but it’s straight at Onana, who claims calmly. “Were the players listening to the half-time relaxant during the break?” asks Joe Pearson. “They seem surprisingly subdued compared to the first half.”
57 min: United take their time over a goal kick. Their antics dull their senses, and upon their playing it out slowly, Dalot ships possession lazily to Claesson, 25 yards from goal. Dalot and United are very lucky that Claesson can’t take advantage, giving the ball back with a loose pass of his own. This game is very strange.
55 min: Garnacho tries to release Dalot down the left with a clever header, but gets too much on it and Vavro is able to usher the ball out for a goal kick. United appear to have come out with a positive mindset, though, which is super-admirable seeing the preposterous manner in which the first half ended.
53 min: Yes, this has suddenly opened up. Elyounoussi loops long from the right. Claesson tries to send a header back over Onana from a tight angle but the keeper is wise to his game.
52 min: Copenhagen enjoy their first period of possession since the restart. They slowly inch upfield before Vavro sends a long-distance daisycutter towards the bottom left. Easy for Onana. United then counter through Dalot down the left. He aims to score from a tight angle but a combination of the post and Grabara denies him.
50 min: United pass, pass, pass it around the back … but eventually Maguire clanks it into touch under no Copenhagen pressure whatsoever. A very strange low-key start to this second half.
48 min: Amrabat carelessly slams the ball straight at Claesson and is very fortunate the referee blows for a soft handball. Had he not whistled, Copenhagen were away on the counter.
47 min: Plenty of pantomime whistling as United stroke it around the back in a patient manner. Copenhagen in no hurry to hassle them.
46 min: What price this ending 2-2? Not high, I’ll be bound.
United get the second half underway. They’ve sacrificed Eriksen for Amrabat. Incidentally, in the other Group A game, it remains goalless between Bayern Munich and Galatasaray … after 58 minutes. Fair to say we’re a wee bit behind in Copenhagen all right.
Half-time entertainment/relaxant. And breathe.
Updated
HALF TIME: Copenhagen 2-2 Manchester United
Nope. But then, haven’t we already had drama enough? An astonishing half of two halves comes to an end, and Erik ten Hag has some work to do at the break. He stays put on the bench making notes before belatedly making his way to the dressing room. What a game, though! You’re not going anywhere, are you?
45 min +13: A cross from the right is deflected out for a Copenhagen corner. The last chance of an absurd half coming up. They couldn’t, could they?
45 min +11: Vavro is booked for cynically checking an in-flight Hojlund.
45 min +10: So, that “Theatre of nightmares” banner, then. “Was it hubris to bring out the Guardian’s patented Hubris-o-meter™ so early in the match?” wonders Kári Tulinius.
GOAL! Copenhagen 2-2 Manchester United (Goncalves 45+9 pen)
Nope. Goncalves calmly whistles the penalty into the bottom-left corner, having sent Onana the wrong way. Super-cool, especially when you consider how the match at Old Trafford ended.
Updated
45 min +8: Fernandes makes sure the penalty isn’t taken quickly, getting into Goncalves’ head. More heroics coming up from Onana?
Penalty to Copenhagen!
45 min +7: A cross comes in from the right. Goncalves attempts to control, stun and turn. He flicks the ball up, and it hits Maguire’s hand. The referee points immediately at the spot. The players were close together, but Maguire had moved his hand towards the ball, and so it is.
45 min +6: Vavro has a speculative whack from 30 yards. It bobbles harmlessly wide left. Onana takes his sweet time over the restart in the professional time-management style, much to the crowd’s irritation.
45 min +5: The United corner is not up to muster, and suddenly Copenhagen are on the break. Elyounoussi tries to release Achouri into the United half but Onana had read the danger and was on point, 40 yards from his own goal, to blooter clear.
45 min +4: Fernandes isn’t having a bar of the Copenhagen comeback. He appears to be on a one-man mission to turn the tide back in United’s favour, and wins a corner with some determined work down the right. He’ll take it himself.
45 min +3: Diks comes forward in the Beckenbauerian style and fizzes a long-distance shot inches wide of the bottom-left corner. Onana had it covered, mind.
45 min +2: … or are they? Fernandes attacks down the right and curls across the face of the Copenhagen goal. There’s nobody in red to slot.
45 min +1: The first of 13 additional first-half minutes. Thirteen! Ten-man United desperate to hear the whistle so they can regroup, as well.
GOAL! Copenhagen 1-2 Manchester United (Elyounoussi 45)
Things do go from bad to worse! A ball shuttled down the right wing. Ankersen curls it in long. Goncalves, coming in from the left, sidefoots it instantly back across the face of goal, where Elyounoussi slots into the bottom right from eight yards. Game on!
Updated
44 min: Things nearly go from bad to worse for United as Goncalves whips the resulting free kick, from the left of the box, into the mixer. The ball flicks off the top of Fernandes’ head, and loops towards the top right, Onana taken out of the game. But the ball caroms off the underside of the bar and away!
RED CARD: Rashford (Manchester United)
42 min: The referee goes over to the VAR screen, takes one look, and shows Rashford the red. There didn’t seem much intent, but it was super-clumsy and put his opponent in danger. He complains before departing, but doesn’t have much of a case.
Updated
41 min: … but in the build-up, Rashford battled with Achouri and then Jelert for possession. He lunged at Jelert and stood on the Copenhagen man’s ankle, which turned alarmingly. Studs on. Jelert is thankfully up and about, but this looks like a red card coming for Rashford.
39 min: … and he’s not far from completing one in the first half, as Fernandes sends him bombing down the inside-left channel. He’s ahead of Diks and sends a bobbler across Grabara and inches wide of the right-hand post. So close.
38 min: Rashford crosses dangerously from the right but a combination of Diks and Jelert clear with Hojlund lurking. The young Dane wants that hat-trick all right!
36 min: Claesson isn’t far away from releasing Lerager down the inside-right channel and into the box, but Dalot eases the latter off the ball, which trundles out for a goal kick. The home fans want a penalty, but their players don’t really bother making a scene.
34 min: Some good work by Goncalves down the left … but there’s nobody in the box to find. He waits and waits and eventually swings in a low ball that’s easily hacked clear by Maguire.
32 min: Copenhagen respond by picking up the pace. Thing is, they’d done that just before the second goal, and were looking half-decent for the first time this evening, until United hit them on the counter, and hit them hard. United have Copenhagen where they want them.
30 min: … Maguire heads down towards the bottom-left corner. Grabara makes a meal of claiming, but keeps the ball out.
29 min: Theatre of nightmares? For Copenhagen, perhaps. Goncalves and Falk combine to give up the ball to Hojlund who, brimful of confidence, sends a rising drive goalwards. Grabara sticks up a strong arm to stop the quick-fire hat-trick, pushing the ball over the bar at the expense of a corner, from which …
GOAL! Copenhagen 0-2 Manchester United (Hojlund 28)
Copenhagen probe, but ship possession cheaply as Vavro heads straight to Fernandes. Suddenly United are tearing off on a three-on-two! Garnacho zips down the inside-left channel, all the way into the box. He aims for the bottom right. Grabara parries but the ball simply sits up for Hojlund, who coverts his second tap-in of the evening!
Updated
26 min: This bitty first half stops again as Maguire points towards the crowd behind United’s goal. Not sure what’s happened, something thrown perhaps, but it’s another chance for Jacob Neestrup to make some running repairs, chatting away into the ears of a couple of his players.
24 min: Some space for Falk down the right. He pings a pass down the channel for Elyounoussi, and suddenly United look light at the back. Elyounoussi whips in low towards Achouri, who gets in ahead of Wan-Bissaka and Maguire, but Onana comes to the rescue and smothers at his feet. So close to an equaliser.
22 min: Copenhagen try to string a few passes together for the first time this evening, but Ankersen’s aimless header forward gives the ball back to United, who reassert their dominance of both possession and territory. The hosts have been very poor so far.
20 min: The game restarts.
19 min: The Danish director spends the bulk of the stoppage training the camera on Christian Eriksen. You don’t need me to join the dots. Here’s hoping the ill spectator will recover as fully as Eriksen has done.
18 min: Ah right, there’s a medical emergency in one of the stands. Quite rightly the game takes second place to the stricken individual. Here’s to their good health.
17 min: The game eventually restarts. Not exactly sure why this stoppage has lasted the best part of four minutes, given Evans immediately knew he couldn’t continue, and left the scene without fuss.
16 min: Varane comes on, and nudges Maguire to the left-hand side of the central defensive partnership.
15 min: Nope, Evans trudges off. As Varane prepares to take his place, Jacob Neestrup gathers his players into a huddle and gives them the what-for.
13 min: Evans goes down, holding his groin. Not sure he’s going to be able to continue. A fair bit of head shaking going on.
12 min: Copenhagen take their first shot of the evening, Falk swanning in from the left and aiming for the near post. Onana parries easily. “They should give that banner an assist,” suggests Nick Smith. Try taking it off the in-form McTominay, who as things stand is surely on course to be named United’s player of the season.
11 min: The game restarts, and United continue to knock it around with the sort of confidence that’s been missing too often this season. Garnacho makes good down the left and his pullback only just evades Hojlund in the middle.
9 min: A pitch invader comes on, a flag trailing behind him. Getting rid of the fate-tempting “Theatre of nightmares” banner before things get even worse for the hosts?
7 min: So yes, that “Your theatre of nightmares” slogan registers a full 11 on the Guardian’s patented Hubris-o-meter™.
5 min: What a start for United. The goal hasn’t exactly silenced the home crowd, but it has irritated them. A lot of loud whistles. Had the cartoon red devil not already been awoken from his slumber by Hojlund’s goal, he’d be up and about now.
GOAL! Copenhagen 0-1 Manchester United (Hojlund 3)
A dream return to Copenhagen for Hojlund! Wan-Bissaka makes a good run down the right. He reaches the byline and cuts back for McTominay, who simply rolls a ball through the six-yard box. Hojlund can’t miss from a couple of yards out, and that’s his fourth goal in the Champions League!
Updated
2 min: … and replays show the ball had come off his torso first anyway, so the referee would have had to be in full pedant mode to have pointed at the spot. Though again, all rules are open to jazz interpretations these days.
1 min: A high ball is intercepted by McTominay just inside the United box. He kicks it onto Maguire’s arm. No penalty, and it would have been extremely harsh … and yet, seeing nobody knows anything any more, some referees would surely have given it. Maguire’s arm wasn’t right by his side, put it that way.
Copenhagen get the party started. A fine post-pyro party atmosphere at Parken, a little smoke lingering.
The teams are out! Copenhagen wear their first-choice colours of white with blue trim, while United sport their traditional red and black. The home fans tease United by displaying a banner that reads “Your theatre of nightmares” and depicts Marcus Allbäck scoring the winner on United’s only other visit to Parken back in 2006, plus a cartoon of a red devil having a freelancer’s daytime snooze in bed. Risky hubris? We’ll soon find out, once Uefa have done their usual number on Handel.
Updated
This has absolutely nothing to do with this game, but it’s worth mentioning anyway. Union Berlin have just earned a 1-1 draw at Napoli in Group C. Matteo Politano opened the scoring for the Italians just before the break, but David Datro Fofana equalised on 52 minutes, scoring Union’s first goal in 32 days. The Germans held on for a point, their first ever in the Champions League, and it snapped a 12-game losing run in all competitions. Blessed relief for Union coach Urs Fischer, and there’s Erik ten Hag thinking he’s got problems.
Copenhagen coach Jacob Neestrup talks to TNT. “We need to create a good performance … [but] a good performance is not enough today … we need points on the table … it’s a big pressure, but we will and we can manage … since we were at Old Trafford we have won three games in a row so we have had confidence for the whole of 2023 … we believe big-time in ourselves, but at the same time have the biggest respect for our opponent today … top-class players in every position on the pitch … but we believe in Copenhagen and have a belief that we can do it … we have exactly the same to lose as our opponent, it’s zero points, one point or three points, exactly the same to win or lose as United.”
Updated
Pre-match reading. Today’s offering comes courtesy of The Artist Formerly Known As The Fiver.
Erik ten Hag speaks to TNT Sports. He says his team will “try to dictate by defending as a team and attacking as a team … we trust this team … they did very well last Saturday … we have to go to a consistent team … they can still do better in possession … but they fought as a team so you have to give trust to the team … the players know what to do and how to deal with [atmospheres like the one at Parken tonight] … at Fulham and Burnley there were also such atmospheres … the players have experiences … last year at Barcelona … it’s great to play in such atmospheres … the ambience has to be fuel.”
Given his repeated reference to trusting the team that did well on Saturday, an additional note about the line-up: he’s only made one change from the Fulham game, recalling Marcus Rashford and benching Antony.
Manchester United make four changes to the team that started the reverse fixture at Old Trafford: Christian Eriksen, Alejandro Garnacho, Aaron Wan-Bissaka and Jonny Evans take the places of Sofyan Amrabat, Antony, Sergio Reguilón and Raphaël Varane, all of whom drop to the bench. Marcus Rashford returns after missing the Fulham game through injury; Rasmus Hojlund will lead the line against his former club.
Copenhagen name the same starting XI as the one Jacob Neestrup selected for the match at Old Trafford.
The teams
Copenhagen: Grabara, Ankersen, Vavro, Diks, Jelert, Lerager, Jensen, Goncalves, Elyounoussi, Claesson, Achouri.
Subs: Sorensen, Tanlongo, Larsson, El Babacar, Oskarsson, Boilesen, Sander, Lund Jensen, Oscar Hojlund, Bardghji, Dithmer, Froholdt.
Manchester United: Onana, Wan-Bissaka, Maguire, Evans, Dalot, McTominay, Eriksen, Rashford, Bruno Fernandes, Garnacho, Hojlund.
Subs: Bayindir, Lindelof, Amrabat, Mount, Martial, Reguilon, Varane, Antony, Heaton, Pellistri, Mejbri, Forson.
Referee: Donatas Rumsas (Lithuania).
Preamble
Two weeks ago this happened …
… a result that left Group A looking like this …
| Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Bayern Munich | 3 | 4 | 9 |
| 2 | Galatasaray | 3 | -1 | 4 |
| 3 | Man Utd | 3 | -1 | 3 |
| 4 | FC Copenhagen | 3 | -2 | 1 |
… which means Manchester United are in better nick than they arguably deserve to be after three below-par performances in the Champions League. They did however show plenty of moxie in that narrow victory over Copenhagen at Old Trafford, just as they did to eke out a win at Fulham in the Premier League last weekend. With a trip to Galatasaray and the visit of Bayern Munich yet to come, a similarly spirited three-point performance at Parken tonight isn’t mathematically necessary, but would come in mighty handy in United’s quest to make it through to the knockouts. Kick off is at 8pm GMT. It’s on!
