By the time I pedalled wearily into the broad High Street of Northallerton, I was rather wishing I had made the trip across Rishi Sunak’s vast constituency by helicopter.
The prosperous county town of North Yorkshire is partnered with Richmond in the prime minister’s home patch. The parliamentary boundaries of Richmond and Northallerton stretch fully two-thirds of the way across the north of England.
It is a canvasser’s nightmare. The western end is 20 miles from the Irish Sea at Morecambe Bay, while the eastern edge is just five miles from Yorkshire’s North Sea coast. So thinly populated is it that I encountered many sheep before meeting anyone with an actual vote.
Keir Starmer’s constituency, in contrast, is a narrow and densely populated rectangle of north-central London. Holborn and St Pancras runs from Tufnell Park in the north (not a park but a Tube station) to Covent Garden in the south. I reckon you could pedal the whole thing in 20 minutes without breaking either the law or a sweat.
I took my time to evaluate the tourism potential of each. Would the leader of the opposition’s vibrant community prevail over the hundreds of square miles of sunlit uplands in the prime minister’s constituency?
The scores are now in, with 100 points divided between the candidates over 10 rounds.
Getting there: For my visit to Rishi Sunak-land, I arrived from Kirkby Stephen, a station on the Settle & Carlisle Line in Cumbria. There is one main-line rail station in Richmond and Northallerton: the latter town is astride the East Coast line. Trains run from Northallerton to London King’s Cross in about three-and-a-half hours.
All three north-facing termini in the capital are in Keir Starmer’s constituency: King’s Cross, St Pancras and Euston. The eastern edge borders an entrance to Farringdon station on the Elizabeth Line.
Starmer 8, Sunak 2
Nearest airport: Closest to Holborn and St Pancras is London City (seven miles). Closest to Richmond and Northallerton is Teesside (200 yards). Helicopter parking available. To be fair, though, London is the world centre of aviation; Teesside is not (yet).
Sunak 8, Starmer 2
Getting around: Keir Starmer’s voters can choose from a dozen Tube stations. Between the Piccadilly line stations of Holborn and St Pancras, the Piccadilly Line runs every couple of minutes.
Between Richmond and Northallerton – the two towns in Sunak’s constituency – bus 55 runs three times a day (except Sundays and public holidays) and takes 38 minutes.
But the London Tube costs more (minimum £2.70) than the elusive North Yorkshire bus (£2, or free for the pensioners who comprised the entire population of the one I saw).
Sunak 5, Starmer 5
Accommodation: St Pancras may have the magnificent Renaissance hotel, built into the fabric of the world’s greatest railway station. But for value, the Catterick Garrison Premier Inn wins every time. On election night the rate is £84 for a double.
Same room type, same chain, different constituency: a painful £198 at the King’s Cross. That is 135 per cent more. “If you think Labour will win, start saving now,” advises the prime minister.
Sunak 8, Starmer 2
Eating and drinking: Central London has rather more culinary choice than rural North Yorkshire, but for the purposes of fair comparison the only common thread is Wetherspoons.
At the Barrel Vault inside St Pancras station, a pint of Carlsberg and a burger costs £11.58. At the Buck Inn in Northallerton’s High Street, the same tasty combo comes in at just £6.03.
Sunak 8, Starmer 2
Culture: Keir Starmer is MP for the British Museum, which has the largest permanent collection in the world. It features the Elgin Marbles (Room 18) and the Rosetta Stone (Room 4). Admission is free.
Rishi Sunak is MP for the Richmondshire Museum, which has some shovels on display in the Tyson Gallery. Admission £7.
Starmer 9, Sunak 1
Nature: Richmond and Northallerton is surely the most scenic inland constituency in England. In the west, the Yorkshire Dales begin high on the moors, with sparkling water carving deep valleys that become populated by pretty villages as you descend. The patchwork landscape is embroidered by dry-stone walls, and even the large military presence (and Premier Inn) at Catterick is softened by woodland.
Farmer Starmer? Not in London NW1. Holborn, St Pancras and “nature” do not easily combine in the same sentence. The closest you can get to the great outdoors is the Camley Street Natural Park beside the canal, run by the Wildlife Trust.
Sunak 9, Starmer 1
Shopping: Camden Market (daily except Christmas Day) vs Northallerton Outdoor Market (Wednesdays and Saturdays).
Starmer 8, Sunak 2
Spirituality: Each constituency has an exquisite medieval church. St Wilfrid’s in Langton-on-Swale in North Yorkshire has outlasted the parish: not a house can be seen from the churchyard. The rector, Jenni Lane, says: “Only the calling of the birds can be heard and sometimes the bleating of sheep or an occasional distant car or tractor. It is one of the most peaceful places imaginable.”
Follow the lane to the end and you reach the banks of the Swale as it throws a lazy loop on its gentle journey to the sea.
From the churchyard of the 12th-century St Pancras Old Church in London, all you can hear is the drone of trains from the tracks 50 yards away, and the traffic along Pancras Road on the other side. What wins it for Starmer: the Soane Mausoleum in the grounds, whose shape inspired the red telephone box.
Starmer 6, Sunak 4
Biggest public lie: Starmer’s constituency – but as a result of Sunak’s action. The middle of Holborn and St Pancras has been ripped out by work on the High Speed 2 rail project, which was originally based at London Euston.
“New trains… new Euston… new adventures,” promises a hoarding close to Mornington Crescent. Residents might be annoyed by the disruption but with “up to 11 high-speed trains every hour” from a shiny new station, surely they will be mollified?
Except that the Conservatives have cancelled the entire HS2 project north of Birmingham, and for good measure suspended work on London Euston. If and when it finally opens, the new station will be much scaled down.
Sunak 5, Starmer 5
Final score: Sunak 52, Starmer 48 – which, as we know, constitutes an irreversible decision.
