Ping! A notification lights up your phone screen. The green WhatsApp logo is a portent of novelty sashes and intricate dress codes to come: you have been added to a group named “Clare’s Bride Tribe 2024”. As you take a moment to sneakily assess which other assorted female friends of the bride will be joining you on this odyssey, the opening salvo of messages lands, laden with emoji. “Hey lovely ladies! Can’t wait for us to show Clare the best weekend ever before our Miss becomes a Mrs!” her bridesmaid writes. Flamenco dancer. Champagne bottle. Diamond ring. Another flamenco dancer.
Your fate is sealed. Over the course of a three-day period some time next year (exact dates will be voted on via Doodle poll), you’ll be taking part in a packed itinerary designed to give the bride a good send-off. There will be masks of the groom’s grinning visage, printed out on someone’s office LaserJet and made demonic by the glaring eye cut-outs. There will be alcohol in colours that don’t occur naturally. But before all that, there will be months of chatter – and the occasional passive-aggressive remark – in the hen do WhatsApp group. Sound familiar?
