Stephen Colbert
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert spoke about the latest SpaceX launch that saw Elon Musk’s company release the Starship heavy booster rocket.
He joked that it “just shows what scientists can achieve when they put their minds together to achieve a common goal: compensating for Elon Musk’s penis”.
He moved on to Mike Lindell, the founder of MyPillow, who had previously guaranteed $5m to anyone who could prove that data he alleged showed Chinese interference in the 2020 election was inaccurate.
“It was the easiest Maga contest since Prove Rudy Drippy and Prove Eric Sad Inside,” Colbert joked.
Lindell has now been ordered to pay $5m as he has been proven wrong by a computer forensics expert, whose lawyer stated that Lindell’s data contains “no recognisable data in any known data format”.
Colbert quipped that it’s “not easy to have your data contain no data”.
This week, Colbert said that the Florida governor and potential presidential nominee Ron DeSantis is “not only losing support, he’s getting publicly humiliated” after he met with Republicans who were not impressed, particularly the Texas representative Lance Gooden who tweeted that he met him and is now endorsing Trump. “Are you a history book in Florida cos you just got burned,” he joked.
Colbert said that “DeSantis continues to maintain his campaign promise to be 100% unlikable” after extending his “don’t say gay” mandate to the 12th grade and now the only place to discuss anything to do with gender or sexuality would be in sex education with the “angriest gym teacher”.
He also continues to feud with Disney, stripping the company of more dispensations after it showed LGBTQ+ support and this week a North Carolina lawmaker proposed that the company move to his state instead. The bill was titled “Mickey’s Freedom Restoration Act” which Colbert said was the “title of the most boring Disney movie ever right after Steamboat Willy Familiarises Himself with Maritime Law”.
Jimmy Kimmel
On Jimmy Kimmel Live! the host also discussed the launch of the SpaceX rocket, which exploded mid-air in what was described by the company as “a rapid unscheduled disassembly”.
Kimmel quipped that it was the “same thing that happened to Twitter when Elon Musk took over”.
This week saw legacy blue ticks removed from certain accounts, including those of the pope and Oprah while strangely OJ Simpson has kept his. “I guess you don’t wanna make him mad,” he added.
He said that Twitter is now “the only company that could embarrass you by admitting you pay for their product” other than YouPorn.
Kimmel moved on to Trump and his Truth Social videos about what a good time he had when he got arrested. He joked that it was “good because it’s gonna happen a bunch more times”.
DeSantis is also “going after his own piece of the Magaverse” by continuing to wage a war on woke. This week he said that Florida is where woke goes to die but Kimmel said that “Florida is where everyone goes to die”.
