With Seth Meyers and Jimmy Kimmel off air for the Presidents’ Day holiday, Stephen Colbert focused his monologue on a Kristi Noem scandal and Maha’s new suggested way to enjoy vegetables.
Stephen Colbert
On Monday night’s Late Show, Colbert returned after a week off the air to focus on the Wall Street Journal’s recent exposé of Kristi Noem, the US homeland security secretary. The host described the piece as “the kind of article that gets published only if everyone who works for you can’t wait to tell a reporter just how awful you are”.
The Journal exposé claims that Noem is jealous of the border czar, Tom Homan, and monitors her media appearances to make sure that she is on TV more than he is. The article also reports that Noem’s relationship with the Trump aide Corey Lewandowski is more than professional, and the pair are in a romantic relationship despite both being married with children. With a smirk, Colbert advised the pair to avoid doggy style, “especially near the gravel pit”: a reference to Noem’s 2024 admission that she cruelly killed her pet dog Cricket.
The host then turned to Barack Obama’s recent podcast appearance in which the former president said that aliens are real. The day after the interview with Brian Tyler Cohen, Obama seemed to backtrack and clarified that he “saw no evidence during my presidency that extraterrestrials have made contact with us. Really!” Colbert was unimpressed. “What happened to hope, buddy,” he joked. “This is why everyone likes Michelle better.
“I’d much rather have aliens take over than artificial intelligence,” Colbert added.
Colbert then segued to the just-launched Maha website realfood.gov, which features Mike Tyson and a Grok-powered chatbot providing healthy eating tips. One reporter found that the chatbot was easily able to be pranked, and offered a menu of zucchinis, bananas and cucumbers in response to a prompt asking for foods that can comfortably fit up the butt. “This is not only completely dangerous, but it completely recontextualises the VeggieTales series,” Colbert joked.
Later in the show, Colbert took CBS to task for nixing his planned interview with the Texas state representative James Talarico. Colbert said CBS lawyers stepped in at the last minute and pulled Talarico’s appearance, and directed viewers to the Late Show’s YouTube channel to see the 15-minute interview with Talarico in full.
In a sit-down with the host, the state representative talked about the mounting “backlash” in Texas to the extremism and corruption in the country’s politics. “We have shattered grassroots fundraising records without taking a dime from corporate Pacs,” Talarico said as the audience applauded.
