Day two of the Unicorn Kingdom. A world where fantasy always outdoes reality. That fair and septic isle. Who needs to go for a walk by a canal or river? Why bother to go to the beach? All you need to do is have a dump at home. Where to have an open cesspit is the latest status symbol. The estate agent’s dream. Your very own swimming pool. What more could anyone want?
To be fair, Thérèse Coffey has done more to level up the country than any of her cabinet colleagues. Though, technically speaking, one should call it levelling down. For on the environment secretary’s watch there isn’t a river in England that isn’t hopelessly polluted and subject to sewage overflow many times a day.
