A Co Armagh student has opened up about the difficult time he has faced as a young carer in education.
Diarmuid O’Dowd, 18, is a young carer for his brother who has Autism.
He opened up about his own experience as new Action for Children research released today highlights the difficulties young carers face in education settings, as they struggle to get recognition of the impact their caring role could have on their journey through education.
Read more: NI mum on struggling to make ends meet as unpaid carer
Surveying young carers across the Belfast, South and South-Eastern Trust, Action for Children found that less than one in six (16%) of young people who take on a caring role feel that their schools support them.
For many children it’s a case of rolling out of bed and hoping to grab a slice of toast on the way out the door, but for a young carer their day often starts hours before the school bell rings.
A young carer takes on an average of 25 hours of unpaid work per week to support their family through various duties and tasks that keep a household running.
“My brother was diagnosed with Autism when he was about six years old and I would have been nine or 10 but my caring role started before that,” Diarmuid explained.
“I was told from when he was born I was attached to him as all I did was help him with anything he needed and it never stopped. My granny was told that maybe I knew he had Autism before anyone else because I was there from day one.”
Diarmuid describes his school years as challenging, which he feels was mainly due to his teachers and classmates not understanding the impact of his caring role.
He added: “I didn’t really like my time in school. I found it hard and never quite felt like I was able to keep up, mainly because I always felt like I had to be like everyone else while also caring for my little brother. I didn’t know how to deal with it all.
“For a lot of my school life, most teachers didn’t know that I was a carer. I never felt like they cared, or that it was something I had to share with them.”
When Diarmuid’s mum let his teacher know about the situation at home, many of his teachers chose not to acknowledge it with him.
“My mum told my form teacher, but nothing was said about it since. And from then until I left school last year any teacher that knew didn’t even acknowledge it to me, all except one,” he recalled.
“Finally in 4th year my form teacher found out and started offering help. From my mental health to anything that worried me, and she constantly asked me and everyone if they were OK. I look back now and it’s no surprise she’s the teacher I miss and connected with the most.
“She was my go-to person about anything there was really, so she would constantly ask me about my brother and what he’s been up to, offering any support she could. I always thought that was nice, because she understood.
“That was my problem with school – I was always misunderstood which made me feel not important or kind of worthless in a sense, which isn’t fair on young people especially not young carers.”
Diarmuid says he struggled through his school years, dreading the moments he would be asked to explain in front of the class why he hadn’t completed his homework.
“The time that sucks most would have been when I went into class one day and I didn’t have the homework done, because of needing to help with my brother the night before. I explained this to the teacher, and she just ignored it and said ‘not good enough’,” he added.
“For the rest of the class she kept making references to the fact I was the only one who didn’t do their homework. Most people copied off each other five minutes before she arrived, but I felt like being honest, silly me.”
The lack of knowledge and understanding of the role of a young carer really frustrated Diarmuid, making him feel isolated.
“No one really knew about me being a young carer, but I will say most people, when they found out, didn’t even know what that was. That hurt because it made me feel that it had no importance at all, which shouldn’t be the way things were for me as a child or anyone,” he said.
Action for Children feels it is incredibly important for schools and colleges to understand what a young carer is facing at home, so they can understand how they can be supported in the classroom. Of young carers surveyed across Belfast, South and South-Eastern Trust, less than half (43%) said their schools were aware of their caring role.
Action for Children Young Carers Inclusive Group (YCIG) began two years ago, formed by a group of passionate and determined young carers including Diarmuid who felt that there were huge changes to be made, to ensure that other young carers were understood and supported better.
He said: “When the idea of YCIG came along I knew I had to be in it. I felt that I could create change. I wanted to look into the topic of young carers in education because I thought ‘if school made me feel this bad then what will it do to other carers?’.
“I was the only known young carer in my year group and only three known in the school, yet in my year group I could count at least 15 people that I knew were young carers, but they didn’t know. They didn’t know their situation had a label – and therefore that they were entitled to support.”
Diarmuid’s wish is that the work that he and YCIG facilitated will help other young carers to get the acknowledgment they deserve.
“Schools aren’t helping people understand the term, or supporting people who have a caring role, so I feel that school should be teaching children what a young carer is and helping them get help or, at the very least, listening to what they have to say, because they may be struggling more than you see.”
Aisling Reynolds, Services Manager for Action for Children Young Carers, has stressed the importance of schools understanding the role.
“From the feedback we’ve received, and the comments made through this research, it’s evident that a school’s awareness and level of support for a young carer can make a huge difference to not only their experience in education, but their confidence, self-esteem and ability to progress further,” she said.
“We’ve seen instances where a child is misunderstood and constantly told off for reasons beyond their control and it’s pushed them away from school completely.
“We know that every child is worthy of an education and our wish is that schools will become more aware of the ways to recognise a young carer, and also to fully support them. We’re ready and willing to help lead and guide on how they can do these things.”
READ MORE:
NI health workers set to take to picket lines again in 24 hour walk-out
NI care workers stage protests calling for improved mileage rates
- Health trust to take over at-risk surgeries after talks to find new GP fail
NI mum opens up on caring for her two severely disabled sons
For all the latest news, visit the Belfast Live homepage here. To sign up to our FREE newsletters, see here.
