Listening to the whirl and beep of machines in the neonatal unit, Tori Drain watched her son hooked up to devices and dreamed of being able to pick him up and bring him home.
Born weighing just 2lbs 10ozs at 28 weeks, Ted was barely the size of Tori's hand when he arrived on April 15 this year. With a long road ahead, Tori and husband Aaron entered the unknown as Ted was admitted to ICU.
Fast forward to today and Ted is at home in Jordanstown and thriving with his family, thanks to the care he received in the neonatal units at both the Royal Jubilee Maternity Hospital and Antrim Area Hospital.
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Speaking to Belfast Live, 33-year-old Tori said it was a tough and lonely time as Ted spent the first eight weeks of his life in hospital but thanks to the support of staff on the unit and the charity TinyLife, they had made it through.
"As you can imagine it is intense, there's constant beeping, machines go off constantly, you are up looking at him constantly and it's a very intense environment, you end up coming home, putting your head on the pillow and all you hear is beep, beep beep. That in itself is intense," she said.
Tori said her pregnancy had been free of complications apart from her being told she was rhesus negative, something pregnant women are offered injections of anti-D immunoglobulin for at certain points in pregnancy when they may be exposed to the baby's red blood cells.
"It was a Tuesday night and I had started noticing some slight spotting so I had gone into the Royal just for the anti-D jab. So it was a case of just come in and get the jab and you'll be on your way," she said.
"That is what we anticipated it was all it was going to be. I think they were really busy at the Royal that night so there was a lot of waiting about, a doctor came in and then there was three hours of waiting, in and out, in and out. So we were actually there for about seven hours, they wanted to make sure everything was fine so they were doing various tests and I was hooked up to monitors to check my heart rate and baby's heart rate.
"Right up until we assumed we were going home, we were told everything was fine, no issues. Then it got to 3 or 4am and they said before we send you home we just want the register to do one final internal scan just so we can happily send you off, which was fine.
"They did that and doctors said they were going to step out of the room and I think at that point myself and my husband thought well something doesn't seem right.
"They then came back and the senior doctor said we have examined you and we can see your cervix is dilated and basically you are not going home."
From that point, Tori said it was a blur and Aaron was sent home due to covid regulations and she went between the labour ward and delivery suite until Ted was born on Friday, April 15 - sharing his dad's birthday.
There were no complications in terms of the delivery but during the week the neonatal team had been down with Tori and Aaron to talk them through who would be in the room, what would happen and what to expect for a baby of that gestation being born.
"When he was born he was immediately put into what can only be described as a sandwich bag, like a plastic bag and I think the idea behind that is they capture all the fluid he is born with to keep him warm," said Tori, who has been with husband Aaron for 12 years and married for three.
"Before they cut the cord he was handed into my chest in this wee bag but he was literally the size of my palm really.
"We got to hold him and the midwives took photos and he was taken from us to the neonatal team who had come down into the room."
Tori said the couple were delighted at the safe arrival of their son at such an early stage but were then waiting hours before they could see him again in ICU in the Royal.
"At that stage he was all tubes and wee lines coming out of umbilical cord in his incubator with lights on and I think there was a mixture of walking into the dark ICU with the noise and the intensity of it all but then also delighted to see he was there and we kept being reassured that his weight for a 28-weeker was good and positive," she added.
"To be honest because I was so tired at that stage the gravity of what was ahead of us didn't hit me until maybe a few weeks in to his journey within the neonatal unit."
Ted spent nine days in the ICU neonatal unit at the Royal before being transferred to Antrim's neonatal unit. He was receiving level one critical care for between five to six weeks of his eight week stint in hospital.
"It was a long stint and we agreed Aaron would keep his maternity leave until baby was home so it was long days sitting beside an incubator on your own which as tough, and tough because he was having to work, I don't know how he focused on work, it was tough for both of us," said Tori, a charity worker.
"For him the focus was gaining weight and then towards the end of our stay then regulating his feeding to feed sufficiently enough to allow us to go home."
When Ted was moved to Antrim, Tori and Aaron were encouraged to get involved with his care, his baths and feeding him and were taught how to carefully lift him in and out of the incubator.
"I was there spending 12/14 hours a day beside him so it gave me a purpose, something to do for him which was good and later on in his stay you were able to get even more involved in his care," said Tori.
But it was a difficult time for the family being separated from the rest of their loved ones who could not visit due to restrictions and Ted did not get to meet his grandparents until he was home on June 6.
"I am very close to my family so it was difficult for me sending photos to my mum and I am sure she looked at them and thought it was awful but actually for us there were milestones and days were really good but the photos maybe made it look like he wasn't doing as well as he was doing," said Tori
"The nursing team in Antrim were fantastic, very supportive, but it was a very lonely experience as well."
It has been an adjustment for the couple since Ted has been allowed home as they adapt to their own environment and find their own rhythm without medical teams around them. He is now filling out and is over 10lbs and the family want to give back to TinyLife who continue to help and support them at home.
"These lovely bubbly smiling faces coming round when you have been sitting for eight hours watching a monitor, it was lovely to have the company and a bit of normality," said Tori.
"The emotional support within the unit, having that someone to chat to just about normal things even to split up the day. Since then we got home, Ted started the Tiny Gym, a class you meet up once a month, there's a physio there, a nurse from the unit and it is facilitated by TinyLife.
"They try to meet the milestones, premature babies would be slower at geting to, the likes of tummy time, rolling over, crawling, weaning. It is all about trying to help babies meet the milestones they will be slower to get to. It is about that peer interaction too."
On October 2, Tori, her mum and Ted will be taking part in TinyLife's Big Push at Stormont Estate to raise vital funds for the charity
"It is a way of showing our appreciation, I work for a chairy so I am very aware how helpful it is when people give back after getting support," said Tori.
To find out more and how you can sponsor Tori and Ted, click here.
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