How do you mend a broken heart? Not literally, that is. If you’re Manchester City, your solution to a broken heart would probably be to spend £30m on hiring the 50 best heart surgeons in the world to defibrillate it for the next 10 years.
But emotionally speaking, the time-honoured way of getting over a recent trauma is to surround yourself with loved ones, throw yourself into your work and rediscover the simple pleasures in life, which in City’s case usually involves dishing out merciless spankings to bottom-half Premier League sides. Here it was the unfortunate Newcastle United who would be City’s boxercise class, their family‑sized tub of Häagen‑Dazs, their 3am booty call to a long-lost ex.
