Chequers is off and what’s done cannot be undone. All that is left now is to be a super trouper

Boris and Carrie Johnson in the garden of 10 Downing Street following their wedding at Westminster Cathedral on 29 May 2021. Photograph: Downing Street/Getty Images

Wednesday

Thanks to my diary, I know we’ve danced exactly 72 times to The Winner Takes it All (81 if you count the p*rty that never happened). But now Bozzie’s away at the war and I’m alone playing Knowing Me, Knowing You. After the Rishi and Saj – Saj! – betrayals, the familiar words are piercing. “No more carefree laughter.”