I can’t work out what’s making me feel more uncomfortable: the golfer who’s been caught faking a hole-in-one, or the noise that’s followed on social media to the point that the offender sounds as though he’s seriously considering upping sticks and changing his name.
Zach Holland has, no question, had a nightmare. A quick recap: he drove to his golf course nice and early and popped a golf ball in the hole, then rushed ahead to take his tee shot on the par-3 4th in the competition so he could speak on the phone with his sick grandmother (especially low, that). Conveniently, the ball ended up in the cup, even though no one was there to see it.
Wow.
There was no hole-in-one - and he’s been busted. The story has spread like wildfire. He’s the “Brian Devine” of golf - Brian being the cricketer who was recently caught clicking his fingers in the slips position to convince the umpire that the batter had nicked the ball. I like to think Brian has already called Zach to offer his support.
Because here’s the thing: at what point will anger turn to sympathy? I’ve experienced the full range of emotions from afar. When the story broke on the BBC late yesterday, I must admit that I found myself chuckling; it was so predetermined, so deceitful, so desperate that I… well, laughed.
Then I started thinking about the game of golf I love and how it is built on personal integrity and sportsmanship. I thought about the members of WingHaven Country Club in Missouri who had been hoodwinked by Holland’s scam. Some people will tell you that cheating in golf is rife - and, even if that’s not entirely accurate, isn’t it a shame that the sport gets tarnished by such incidents?
Now, though, I’ve started to feel a bit of sympathy for Holland, just as I did last month when Devine made international news for his grubby attempts to trick cricket umpires and cheat his opponents. For days afterwards, it was all that appeared in my news feed: meet the cheat, the 38-year-old dad who works as a company secretary for a livestock auction and estate agents, etc.
We had club statements, interviews with players, former professionals and cricket pundits weighing in, and social media influencers calling for a public flogging. It felt as though we came very close to Andy Burnham calling an emergency Cobra meeting.
I don’t like it. There’s no question that Holland has cheated - he’s admitted such. However, I feel uncomfortable with the amount of attention such stories get. I know, I know, I’m adding to the noise here, but I want to make a point.
Massively Over The Top
Maybe I’m being soft, and I’ll brace myself for being told I am, but here’s why the reaction feels massively over the top. Holland has admitted he cheated and that he “completely made a fool of himself”. It was only right that he resigned his membership. “You do something as dumb as I did, there are consequences for that,” he told radio station 101 ESPN in St Louis.
Holland, a former college golfer, added: “I made a terrible mistake, the lack of moral character. I can take the banter and the chatter because I deserve that from a golf perspective.” (Maybe a bit soon for banter, I think, Zach).
“But what I am most worried about is my family, breaking trust with a marriage I have had for five years next month. We have two kids that are under three, and you know, it's not fair to them for me to put them in that situation where they walk in a room, there is a stigma there that your dad [is a cheater].”
He’s always going to have this reputation - and for that, like most golfers, I have no sympathy. When you concoct a plan as he did, your reputation won’t ever recover. For as long as he plays the game, he’ll have this hanging over him. Would you want to enter a competition with Holland in the field? No, me neither.
Unfortunately for Holland, he has also been labelled as a “sandbagger” (that’s handicap manipulation if you’re wondering). It’s all going to come out now. More stories, more noise, more calls for firmer punishment. It’s the world we live in.
All that said, I’m not one for going on social media to call for the guy’s head. I dare say there are a fair few golfers out there who have employed the old leather wedge at times, or done that counting thing with their hands - you know, ‘One to there, two to there, three, four…yeah, par.’ Hmm, really?
Nathan Charnes, the acting PGA of America president and general manager at WingHaven, said in a statement to Golf.com that the club had “promptly addressed the matter” and added they “care deeply about the integrity of the game and the experience we provide for our members and guests”.
In fairness to Holland, he’s admitted his wrongdoing. Let’s move on and leave the man to try and do likewise, for it sounds as though he’s going to find it quite difficult.
