Well, there we are: with considerable dignity, and after much agonising, Chelsea Horrobin has had a termination – the first in Ambridge since dastardly Cameron Fraser abandoned a pregnant Elizabeth Archer at a motorway service station in 1992. On the other hand Ben Archer, with whom Chelsea had sex at this summer’s “Ambridge rave”, has exploded (cue actual sounds of smashing crockery) from the psychic contradiction of being a fundamentally nice guy who’s caused everyone around him a world of pain. He’s chucked out his girlfriend Beth (doesn’t deserve her, etc) and I fully expect him to break up with his similarly named collie, Bess, on related grounds.
At Brookfield, Jill and her paramour, Leonard, decorated the spare room ready for its first B&B guests, thoughtfully furnishing it with a copy of The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, a novel strongly deprecated by Pip Archer, who believed it might be by the author of that “depressing” one with Cathy and Heathcliff in it. No, Pip, it’s an early feminist classic by Emily Brontë’s sister, Anne, about a woman living in a village with her young child in seclusion from the dissolute father. I’d pop it on your reading list if I were you.
