Two Stirlingshire mums faced with “a grief like no other” have set up a local support group for bereaved parents.
Susan Gardner and Karen Meldrum met when they were themselves supported by the national organisation The Compassionate Friends following the deaths of their sons.
Karen’s son Kevin passed away, aged just nine years old, in 1993, while Susan lost her son Matthew when he was just 11 years old in 2015.
Now they have set up a local group for the charity in a bid to ensure more people receive the support and understanding which has helped them.
The Compassionate Friends was set up in 1969 by two sets of parents who came together to support each other after they both lost their sons. It is now a national organisation supporting bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings.
Having the support of others who had experienced similar loss was something both Karen and Susan found much needed comfort from - and they resolved to form a local group.
Both say people are already benefiting from the Stirling TCF group - and they hope to reach out to more people who sadly find themselves in need of such support.
“Kevin was my first born and my only son,” said Karen. “He was a happy, friendly wee boy who adored his two sisters.
“He was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis aged two-and-a-half and although his treatment must have been so painful at times, he never complained.
“He spent a lot of time in hospital but again just accepted it as part of his life.
“He loved football and music, in particular Queen and Pink Floyd.
“Kevin died on February 10, 1993, aged nine - and even then he was only thinking of others.
“He thanked the physio in the hospital for looking after him and also told his six year old sister to look after his three year old sister.
“This just said everything about the kind of wee boy Kevin was.
“We still miss this precious boy every day.
“He has two nephews now who he didn’t get the chance to meet, although we do talk to them about their Uncle Kevin.
“I found the Compassionate Friends very quickly after Kevin died and it gave me the support I needed to cope with the pain.
“Talking to other bereaved parents made me feel less alone and gave me comfort knowing that they understood.”
Susan similarly felt the shared understanding she and her family found through Compassionate Friends helped them through their own devastating loss.
“Matthew was our first child, and the apple of our eye,” said Susan.
“At 10 years old, life was great. He was the goalie in the primary football team, an avid fan of Harry Potter, and a much loved big brother to his sister and brother.
“Just after his 11th birthday, everything changed when Matthew was diagnosed with a brain tumour.
“Eleven months later, after a terrible fight with childhood cancer, we lost him.
“It was a terribly traumatic experience of course, and the loss of a child is a grief like no other.
“It is so unusual, you can feel very alone.
“One of the things which very much helped my husband and I with our grief was engaging with the Compassionate Friends, a charity which provides support for bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents, connecting them to others who have suffered the death of a child or children of any age, and from any cause.
“Finally, we felt the people we were talking to really understood, and through them we could find some comfort, and has allowed us to make some friends for life.”
One of the people she met was Karen.
“We decided that we wanted to set up a local support group in Stirling,” said Susan, “to help people in the area who are in a similar position.
“The group has been meeting monthly, and we have built a small supportive community that people are saying is really helping through some very difficult times.
“We know though, there will be many in Stirling who could benefit from the support who may not know about it.”
If anyone would like to find out more about it, or come along, they can make contact through the Compassionate Friends website https://www.tcf.org.uk/ or email: stirlingtcf@outlook.com
