It may have taken a couple of decades but I think we can safely say Alastair Campbell has finally proved it is possible to unleash WMDs in 45 minutes.
He managed it with the first episode of his political rip-off of – sorry, I mean homage to – The Apprentice
At this early stage the WMDs on Channel 4’s Make Me Prime Minister appear to be Weapons Of Mass Delusion rather than destruction – although, in some cases, it is debatable whether that diminishes the potential for danger.
As for this programme’s similarities to Alan Sugar’s long-running BBC1 hit, I do wonder whether Campbell will be receiving a quiet word from Claude Littner in the not too distant future.
Then again, Channel 4 might reasonably argue that as The Apprentice is basically Big Brother in business suits, they are just taking another bite from their own pie. In any case, there are some differences between the two shows.
For a start, The Apprentice is often funny, entertaining and dramatic.
MMPM has so far, sadly, drawn a blank on all three.
Also, MMPM does not have at its helm a charismatic figurehead who has actually been there and done it. Which suggests perhaps that Channel 4 was always mindful of copycatting issues. Either that or Tony Blair said no. What really sinks MMPM though is the ending. There are no drama-filled, pointy-fingered boardroom firings here.
Instead, upon losing a task the defeated team captain is merely invited to resign.
If they refuse, then Campbell and the Karren Brady of the piece, Baroness Sayeeda Warsi, decide who gets the chop instead.
And guess what? In both of the two episodes I’ve watched so far the losing captains declined to do the honourable thing. This killed any drama stone dead.
However, it did make me wonder where on earth these contestants got the impression that it was okay for politicians to refuse to
take ultimate responsibility for a massive cock-up on their watch.
Do let me know if you have any ideas on that one, eh?
Rob Beckett is Unbreakable
For BBC1’s latest reality show nonsense, Rob Beckett has come up with all manner of physical and mental challenges to test whether Shirley Ballas’s relationship with her fella Danny is Unbreakable.
Surely Rob should just sit Dan in a chair and make him watch a montage of Shirley perving over male celebrities on Strictly instead.
(No, I don’t know why the BBC thinks it’s okay for Shirley – or Craig Revel Horwood – to objectify men on live TV either).
Sadly, if you want to see how well Shirley and Dan fare on this show, you’ll have to wait for their late arrival in week four.
To keep you going until then the BBC has assembled a celebrity line-up that would make even Wikipedia shrug.
It includes that comedian from 5Star’s Celebs On The Farm, the host of BBC Three’s Big Proud Party Agency and that bloke with the hair from Pimlico Plumbers whose main claim to fame is that he once appeared on Piers Morgan’s TalkTV show.
Shall I just see you back here for week four then?
NB. If you’re wondering how well Piers’s show is doing, he actually invited me on last week.
So, yeah. That well.
Celebrity fragrance news
Jeremy Clarkson is launching his own aftershave.
So we can expect a whiff of leather interiors, petrol fumes, stale cigarette smoke and real ale farts.
Although he’ll probably smell a bit better once he puts the aftershave on.
Do They Know There's A Cost Of Living Crisis?
On Tuesday’s This Morning , Gino D’Acampo told the show’s remaining viewers to top off their pasta dishes with shavings from a rare white truffle costing £100-150.
They’re just doing it on purpose now, aren’t they?
Bake Off influenced by Paul Hollywood's holidays
Pizza I could just about accept. But guacamole and salsa from scratch, and sizzling steak?
How does that lot belong on The Great British Bake Off ?
Following Japanese Week in 2020 and Tuesday’s Mexican Week, Channel 4 really needs to stop allowing the format of this show to be influenced by places Paul Hollywood has just been to on working holidays.
If the focus keeps on shifting away from baking skills, I do worry that we’ll end up with this scenario one day...
Hollywood: “This week we’d like you to cook a roast chicken dinner with all the trimmings.”
Contestants: “But what’s the baking element?”
Hollywood: “Erm, just whack some bread sauce on the side, like.”
