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The Independent UK
The Independent UK
Lifestyle
Adam White

Chandler watches shark porn?: The 12 weirdest episodes of classic TV shows

Weird TV: ‘Friends’, ‘One Foot in the Grave’ and ‘The Simpsons' - (NBC/BBC/Disney)

There is weird television, and then there’s weird television. When David Lynch makes a TV show, it’s the former. When an otherwise conventional programme takes a sharp left turn into the surreal and confusing – and then never mentions it again – it’s the latter.

The history of television is unusually full of episodes that in context make little sense, or seem to be the product of a slacking writing team.

Then there are episodes that attempt to do something radically different, but result in something alienating and strange. Admirable, yet TV you wish no one had bothered with.

From confusing crossover episodes to the time a kids TV show introduced a religious cult, here are 12 episodes of classic TV shows that proved more weird than successful.

Friends, “The One with the Sharks”

In fairness to Friends, “The One with the Sharks” was the 198th episode of the classic sitcom, so we ought to cut its writers some slack. Then again, this was still too strange for words. The episode sees Monica walking in on Chandler masturbating, but having missed that he quickly switched the channel from pornography to a nature documentary, comes to a natural conclusion: Chandler was getting off on sharks. “Sweetie, it’s OK – let me be a part of this!” Monica says. “Do you want me to get into the tub and thrash?” It remains unfathomable television.

Casualty, “Holby Sin City”

The crossover event absolutely no one called for, “Holby Sin City” saw the residents of BBC One soap Casualty become embroiled in a Frank Miller noir. It saw fussy doctor George Rainsford encounter a mysterious femme fatale done up like a 1940s Vargas girl, who may or may not have killed someone. Meanwhile, the show’s main locations suddenly transformed into a rain-soaked metropolis. Tellingly, Casualty has never done something this weird since.

Grey’s Anatomy, “Song Beneath the Song”

Maybe medical dramas just shouldn’t mess with what works? Like that Casualty noir, the Grey’s Anatomy musical was similarly baffling. A completely ordinary episode of the show only with characters very earnestly breaking into song as patients crash out in surgery, “Song Beneath the Song” couldn’t help but inspire giggles rather than tears.

Neighbours, “Episode 1254”

An infamous edition of the Australian soap opera saw characters watching a wedding video, before turning their attention to the show’s resident dog, Bouncer. “I bet he wishes it was him and [fellow dog] Rosie getting married,” says Ben Geurens’ Toby. “All he does these days is sit around and dream about her!” The camera then closes in on Bouncer’s sleeping face and we are plunged into his canine subconscious. There, we see Bouncer and Rosie getting married, nuzzling one another and having a litter of puppies. It’s mortifying.

Jessie has a caffeine pill meltdown in ‘Saved by the Bell' (NBC)

Saved by the Bell, “Jessie’s Song”

Every episode of the original Saved by the Bell is at least a little strange, but “Jessie’s Song” is easily the strangest. An “important life lesson” episode warning children of the dangers of drug use, the episode saw Elizabeth Berkley’s Jessie becoming addicted to… caffeine pills! In its most famous scene, Jessie breaks down while dramatically singing “I’m So Excited” by The Pointer Sisters. “I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so –” she sobs – “scared!” It’s perplexing (not really) that this episode didn’t win all the Emmys in the world.

Roseanne, “Into That Good Night”

The long-running Nineties sitcom came to a close in 1997, following a final season as terrible as it was surreal. We witnessed Roseanne Barr’s titular harried mum win the lottery, hang out with Absolutely Fabulous’s Patsy and Edina, fight terrorists with Steven Seagal and pose for Playboy. The weirdest was yet to come, though. In the final ever episode, it was revealed that the previous 24 episodes had all been a grief-induced fever dream after Roseanne’s husband Dan (John Goodman) died of a heart attack. By the time the show was revived in 2018 , this particular ending had been – thankfully – scrubbed from history.

One Foot in the Grave, “Things Aren’t So Simple Anymore”

The famously grumpy Victor Meldrew (Richard Wilson) met his maker in one of the strangest finales to a comedy series in TV history. The show’s final episode pivoted between traditional sitcom hijinks and dark drama, with flashbacks revealing that Victor had been killed in a hit-and-run accident. The episode’s surreal apex is a dramatic monologue delivered by Annette Crosbie in extreme close-up, in which she declares to a priest that she wants to exact revenge on whoever killed her husband. Bit grim, ain’t it?

The Simpsons, “Lisa Goes Gaga”

This season 23 episode of The Simpsons has a notoriously bad reputation, which feels a bit unfair. Instead of being bad, “Lisa Goes Gaga” is truthfully just really, really odd. Essentially a commercial for guest star Lady Gaga – who appears in practically every scene – it sees her arrive in Springfield with the express mission to cheer up the town. Zeroing in on a depressed Lisa, Gaga inspires her to embrace joy once again. The episode also ends with a terribly performed solo number by Lisa in which she sings about being a superstar. Hmm.

Lost, “Exposé”

For its third season, Lost attempted to introduce plane crash survivors who’d apparently been on the show – and its central island – all along, only we’d never met them. By the season’s midpoint, Lost’s writers had all but admitted they got it wrong. Unpopular newbies Nikki and Paolo (Kiele Sanchez and Rodrigo Santoro) were then rapidly dispensed of, in a bizarre episode featuring a diamond heist and a Charlie’s Angels-esque TV show starring Billy Dee Williams – which Nikki once guest starred on. Just when the episode seemed to have hit peak weird, the pair ended up paralysed by a poisonous spider and then buried alive by the show’s unknowing main cast. It was certainly one way of getting rid of universally despised characters, I guess.

Billy Dee Williams in ‘Lost' (Disney/ABC)

Felicity, “Time Will Tell”

An unexpected precursor to JJ Abrams’ pivot to sci-fi and fantasy immediately after, his Nineties college drama Felicity seemed to bring all of its storylines to a close by the 17th episode of its final season. Unfortunately, they had five more hours to fill. What they did was suddenly switch the show’s genre. “Time Will Tell” saw Keri Russell’s Felicity thrust backwards in time and experiencing what would have happened if she’d picked a different romantic partner years earlier. For the remainder of the season, she was then seen attempting to fix her and her friends’ lives with the use of time travel. Huh?

Boy Meets World, “Cult Fiction”

Remember the episode of the Disney sitcom Boy Meets World in which one of its main characters is seduced into a pseudo religious cult? This often forgotten episode revolves around The Centre, a strange cult of lost teenagers which briefly woos troubled teen Shawn (Rider Strong). While it’s undeniably weird, there’s also something impressive about the show managing to introduce a cult, convince a character to join the cult and have that same character have a laughter-free crisis of faith all within the space of 22 minutes. The Nineties, everyone.

Star Trek, “The Way to Eden”

The original Star Trek was wildly progressive at times – it memorably broadcast the first interracial kiss on US TV, after all – but also stumbled into conservatism, too. Take the bizarre “The Way of Eden”, in which space hippies take over the Starship Enterprise and are met with sneering and contempt by almost all of the regular cast. Only Spock seems open to the idea of peaceful, socialist hippiedom. It feels like an odd bit of finger-wagging, though, from a typically left-leaning programme.

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