AJ Odudu has discussed her experience as a Black woman in television and a feeling of having to constantly prove herself.
The TV presenter, 36, is currently fronting ITV’s rebooted Celebrity Big Brother alongside Will Best, 39.
Speaking to Elizabeth Day on the latest episode of her How to Fail podcast, she said: “I used to be really embarrassed, or very scared, to say that. I really do feel like I have to prove myself in a way that my counterparts just don't.
“And I also feel like maybe one of the reasons why I do have this drive and determination and this ability to push all the time is because I just feel like I'm not allowed to make mistakes in the way that others are, and I have to be the ready made package.
“I have to look good, sound good. I need to be [on my] ‘A Game’ or the opportunity is just not going to be there. And that is a tough pill to swallow, but it's my pill and I've swallowed it. So it is what it is.”
The former Strictly Come Dancing finalist has previously recalled racism she faced growing up in Blackburn, Lancashire, where she didn't know anyone of colour outside of her family until she went to secondary school where there was just one boy and one girl of Jamaican and Ghanaian heritage.
Speaking on Gyles Brandreth's Rosebud podcast last year, she recalled experiencing a negative reaction to her appearance when she was just five or six year’s old.
“That was when people started touching my hair and saying ‘why does your hair feel like this and why are the palms of your hands white, but nowhere else is white?’ I found that really confusing.
“I remember going home and saying ‘Mum, why is that the case, what is going on here?’ That is when my mum started to teach me about Nigeria and say ‘there's loads of people that look like you, they're just not in this country.’”
When asked by Gyles if it ever felt good being the only Nigerian in her class, she said: “No. I literally developed so much quicker than everyone else.
“I was taller than everyone, my hair was bigger than everyone's, my skin was darker than everyone's, my voice even was deeper than everybody's voice. Kids pick at these things and you can't do anything about it.
“I just hated any attention on me at that time. I was just like 'I've just got to get through the school day and get back home to my brothers and sisters.’”
How to Fail with Elizabeth Day is available wherever you get your podcasts.
