Bear Grylls. It’s Bear Grylls of course, not a real bear. I mention that upfront just in case, like me, your heart leapt in anticipation when the title Celebrity Bear Hunt flashed up on your screen. Exactly which minor celebs were envisioned screaming and flailing through undergrowth pursued by an ursine foe hungry for buffed, botoxed flesh will have been different for each of us – but what a vision indeed!
No doubt the day will come, and sooner than we think, when such entertainment is a standard part of the TV schedules. Until then, I’ve got to tell you: this is a remarkably full-blooded substitute. Only two episodes were available for review but by the end of them we’ve had, under the broiling Costa Rican jungle sun, boats sinking in crocodile-filled waters, two captures in camouflage nets, ravine crossings, snakes, and earnest discussions about making sure to do your daily poo before the next challenge so you can bomb along with as little hindrance as possible. The 12 celebs are divided into teams and, as soon as one of them splits from their pack, Bear – yes! – leaps out of the undergrowth, rugby-tackles them to the ground, trusses them up and leaves them in the sun to die. No, all right, not the last bit – he goes and collects them later – but the rest is true and excellent. I haven’t had this much fun watching a reality TV competition since the earliest days of I’m a Celebrity … Get Me out of Here!.
