The mother of cancer campaigner Dame Deborah James said her daughter told her she did not want to die in a late-night chat, just days before her death.
Heather James told of the heartbreaking moment Dame Deborah - who died in June after being diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer - said “I don’t want to die”.
Mum-of-two Dame Deborah used her diagnosis to inspire the public and raise millions for charity through her BowelBabe fund, before her death at the age of 40.
Speaking to BBC Breakfast on Tuesday morning, Heather said: “The hardest thing was knowing she was going to die.
“My heartache was knowing as a mother I couldn’t do anything about that.”
Recalling a conversation they had while lying in bed about a week before Deborah died, Heather said: “She was quite poorly that night and she went ‘I do love you’, and I went ‘yeah, I love you’.
“And she went ‘I have no regrets, you know’ and I went ‘that’s brilliant’. How many people could say that?
“But she did say ‘I don’t want to die’, and that’s really the hardest, saddest part.”
Following her diagnosis Dame Deborah, a former deputy headteacher, spoke candidly about her cancer journey through podcasts and writing. She became known to millions as Bowel Babe, and urged people to check themselves for symptoms of bowel cancer.
After raising more than £4 million for cancer research, she was honoured with a damehood in May at her parents’ home in Woking, Surrey.
In the final few weeks of her life, Dame Deborah also finished writing her book How to Live When you Could be Dead, due for release this week.
Heather described the final eight weeks of her daughter’s life as probably the “best” the family had together.
She said: “Even though she died at the end of it, how can you not love what she did in that eight weeks?”
Heather, who became Deborah’s main carer in her final weeks, recalled her daughter urging her to carry on and “enjoy life” after her death.
“I went ‘I don’t know if I can’,” said Heather. “And she went ‘then you haven’t done me justice’.
“So I think we have to all not just live life but enjoy living life and live it to the best that we can. I think we owe that to Deborah.”
