The Canberra Liberals are "very experienced in going down", the ACT's Chief Minister says, describing the opposition party's almost 25 years in the political wilderness as a game of "snakes and ladders".
It was just one of several spicy moments in the ACT Legislative Assembly this week as it sat for three days, with talks of a "fairytale" tram to Adaminaby, a paper politician making an appearance and one member trying to make a new word happen (spoiler: it's not going to happen).
The ACT Education Minister faced the music over a brutal school resourcing report, a key government directorate announced big job cuts and one member revealed allegations unqualified CIT students were taking apart hire electric vehicles for training.
Canberra Liberals member Elizabeth Lee went on the attack in question time on Wednesday, after the release of a scathing report into resourcing for the ACT's school system, accusing Deputy Chief and Education Minister Yvette Berry of ignoring years of evidence from experts, teachers and families about declining literacy and numeracy outcomes in government schools.
"Chief Minister, given that the same Education Minister is also embroiled in current Integrity Commission investigation into serious corruption allegations, what does it take for you to sack her?" Ms Lee asked.
ACT Chief Minister Andrew Barr thanked Ms Lee for her "long diatribe of a question" that he said was "based in an alternative reality".
"I have full confidence in the Deputy Chief Minister's work and particularly applaud her work in the education portfolio over a decade where she has been focused on wanting to enhance equity in our education system," he said.
But Canberra Liberals leader Mark Parton wasn't having it, asking the chief minister if he was "prepared to go down" with his education minister, to laughs from the chamber.
"I know the Canberra Liberals are very experienced in going down, we've seen quite a few of you take that particular path in politics, was it snakes and ladders?" Mr Barr said.
Ouch.
Breaking with the Canberra Liberals' more than a decade of tram hatred, Mr Parton spent the week telling everyone how much he loved the tram, laying the tracks to ask the Labor government how much stage 2B of the light rail to Woden would actually cost.
"Labor's tram position isn't all that different to ours. We love the tram, we love it, but as per the warning from Saul Eslake, we can't afford to build it tomorrow," Mr Parton said on Tuesday afternoon, before slagging off the Greens' push for the extension to reach Mawson.
"I say, why not push it out to Tharwa ... why don't we push it out to Adaminaby? Because money's no object ... this is fairytale stuff."
Adaminaby is about 120 kilometres south of Canberra.
Transport Minister Chris Steel was not amused by the Opposition Leader's motion on Thursday calling on the government to reveal the full early costings and timeline for stage 2B of the light rail.
"I think people would laugh [if] Mr Parton goes to that next election and says in front of everyone that he loves the tram. No one believes that, it's a completely dishonest sentence," he said.
"The assembly has already passed motions on this direct subject ... this is just another anti-light rail motion."
Mr Parton was also not happy about the state of Canberra's sports fields on a rainy Tuesday morning in the assembly.
He took issue with Sports Minister Yvette Berry's statement acknowledging the challenges in maintaining sports facilities, arguing she spent barely a line on the "vandals" tearing up fields.
The Liberals showman announced he would be hosting a roundtable for ACT sports clubs to discuss their concerns about "maintenism".
Maintenism?
"About maintenance and about vandalism," Mr Parton clarified, acknowledging the faux pas.
With continuing issues around ageing ACT sportsgrounds facilities and an increase in vandals, maybe "maintenism" will make the assembly's 2026 word of the year.
Or not.
Former ACT Greens leader Shane Rattenbury may have left an empty chair in the assembly after resigning his seat in mid-May, but he was still in the hearts and minds of his colleagues.
Speaker Jeremy Hanson was forced to intervene in question time on Thursday when he noticed a printed photo propped up on Mr Rattenbury's old chair.
"It's been drawn to my attention that there's a sign on Mr Rattenbury's chair, and I just make the point that props.... it's permitted but not encouraged," he said, to a wave of laughter from members.
Greens member Andrew Braddock rescued the printed photo of Mr Rattenbury, waving it in the air as he sought to table the document.
"For the information of members in terms of Mr Rattenbury and his valuable contributions to this place," the member said, trying not to laugh as he handed the photo to an attendant.
"Miss you king," the caption read, on a photo of Mr Rattenbury gazing solemnly at the camera.
No longer having to deal with ACT Labor and the Canberra Liberals? Mr Rattenbury is probably not missing the assembly.
