Donald Trump has been facing a lot of allegations that he’s snoozing on the job. But we should give the poor man a break: he must be exhausted by his unceasing efforts to make life better for us all. At this very moment, for example, the Trump administration is spending $5m to cover four bronze horses near the Lincoln Memorial in thick gold leaf. No longer will passersby be subjected to subpar equine aesthetics. Finally, the American people will have the glimmering horse statues they deserve.
Meanwhile, the US has been fighting a war with Iran that, by one expert’s estimate, is costing $2bn dollars a day and will probably end up with a price tag of at least a trillion dollars. This may seem like a colossal waste of money to some, but real patriots understand that this is simply the cost of making America great again.
