While normally steering well clear of British politics I admit to having enjoyed recent live TV sessions of the UK Parliament. The weekly Prime Minister's Question Time (PMQ) held on Wednesdays is far more entertaining than any soap opera. Witnessing the verbal jousting as the PM attempts to side-step a withering grilling is sheer theatre. It is almost like being the accused in the dock at a court hearing.
At times the exchanges can be juvenile but at least we are in the healthy situation of witnessing the top politician in the kingdom having to answer awkward questions -- now that's democracy in action, up front and in your face. There are few countries in the world where you can observe a leader undergo such a cross-examination.
Boris Johnson has been on the back foot recently and has looked exhausted after each session. The Daily Mail likened last Monday's parliamentary exchanges to "The Game of Thrones without the Dragons".
Understandably very few British PMs have looked forward to PMQ with one equating it to being in a "bear pit". Harold Macmillan was said to feel physically ill before question time while Harold Wilson hated it and was known to fortify himself with a brandy or two beforehand.
The immensity of the strain was most effectively described by former premier Tony Blair who in his autobiography likened PMQ to the teeth extraction scene in Marathon Man. He called it "the most nerve-wracking, discombobulating, nail-biting, bowel moving, terror-inspiring, courage-draining experience".
Anyone fancy being British PM?
Matter of debate
New prime ministers are at their most vulnerable at their first PMQ. Greeting Margaret Thatcher on her maiden visit to the despatch box in May 1979, Labour MP Stanley Clinton-Davis cautioned her with "In replying to all questions will she please not be too strident".
When John Major got up to make his debut at PMQ in Nov 1990, before he had the chance to utter a word he was greeted by a shout of "Resign!" from Labour's Dennis Skinner. He probably later wished he had taken that advice.
One of the wittiest politicians to grace the House of Commons was Labour's Denis Healey. During one parliamentary session (not PMQ) after he had been attacked by the normally docile Geoffrey Howe he came up with the splendid "being criticised by him is like being savaged by a dead sheep".
The art of insults
Insults are not confined to politics although we should not overlook Sir Winston Churchill's put-down of Labour politician Sir Stafford Cripps that "he has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire".
Churchill's comment is a good example of an era when many insults had a touch of class thanks to an effective combination of style, sophistication and wit.
The world of literature was always fertile ground for put-downs. William Faulkner had a running feud with fellow author Ernest Hemingway and commented: "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." To which Hemingway quickly responded: "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
Then there was Truman Capote's blunt assessment of Jack Kerouac: "That's not writing, that's typing."
That's entertainment
Show business has always been a rich source of insults. After a disagreement with one actor Mae West remarked: "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork".
West, however was often on the receiving end of barbs with WC Fields calling her "a plumber's idea of Cleopatra".
Another actress who had to put up with insults was Elizabeth Taylor but she produced an excellent reposte: "Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses."
Sounds of discord
There is an oft-quoted case when American film director Billy Wilder after listening to a young actor trying to sing remarked: "You have Van Gogh's ear for music." Some claim the actor responded "Gee, thanks".
I quite like the observation by Austra- lian critic Clive James on pop singer Rod Stewart: "He has an attractive voice and a highly unattractive bottom. In his concert performances he spends more time wagging the latter than exercising the former…"
Classical composers were not immune to put-downs. A favourite target was Richard Wagner. Composer Gioachino Rossini commented: "Wagner has beautiful moments but awful quarters of an hour." Mark Twain offered another back-handed compliment: "Wagner's music is better than it sounds."
The ginger rat
Back to UK parliamentary matters. Veteran Labour politician Harriet Harman, 71, recently announced she will step down at the next election. This is a pity as she was responsible for an entertaining parliamentary episode a few years ago.
Back in 2010 she referred to a Scottish political foe who happened to have red hair as being a "ginger rodent". This caused uproar particularly in Scotland and she later apologised after being accused of blatant "gingerism".
Spotting a good business opportunity an Inverness brewery quickly came up with a new beer called "Ginger Rodent". The brew proved so popular that it wasn't long before it was being served in the Strangers' Bar at the House of Commons with Ms Harman having the honour of pulling the first pint.
Frankly, Boris looked like he could have done with a slurp of Ginger Rodent after his grilling this week.
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