A flight attendant can spot a phone in your hand, but that doesn’t mean they can see its settings. If your phone quietly missed the switch to airplane mode, the crew generally cannot tell just by looking at your screen. Your phone doesn’t flash a warning above your head announcing that it still wants a cellular signal.
That doesn’t make airplane mode optional. The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) requires passengers to follow the airline’s rules for electronic devices, including using airplane mode or disabling cellular connections.